Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir,

I am writing you to introduce myself as a new joinee in your company in November batch.

I would like to tell you that my name is Aakash having job Id [redacted phone] and my job will be commencing on 4th November. Moreover, I have 4 years experience as a software developer in XVY company and I am a university graduate with a Master degree. Furthermore. I am comfortable with database handling , backend development , software testing and bug removing.

However, sometimes I am facing issues in the process of submitting progress report because of excess information and less time. I would appreciate you if you could help me with that for couple of weeks in the starting.

I will be happy if you are available to attend our first meet on my first day at job , it could be online or in person so I could better understand my current role and responsibilities.

I am waiting to hear from you.

Yours faithfully,

Aakash

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points: you outline your master’s degree and four years as a software developer, identify support with progress reports as a need, and propose meeting on your first day, either online or in person. These details make the letter relevant and purposeful. The study and work background is clear, though it could be more specific—for example, naming your field of study or describing a relevant responsibility. The request for help is also somewhat narrow and time-limited (“for couple of weeks”), while the meeting suggestion does not offer a time or ask about the mentor’s availability. The response covers the task well overall; fuller development of these points would make it more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear progression from introduction, to background, to the support you need, and finally to a meeting proposal and closing. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” make relationships between details clear. The sequence is easy to follow throughout. However, several transitions are somewhat mechanical, particularly the repeated use of additive connectors in the background paragraph. The opening could also move more smoothly from introducing yourself to describing your experience. Using a wider variety of natural links, and connecting the request for help more directly to your experience, would make the cohesion more flexible while preserving the clear organisation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough workplace and technical vocabulary to communicate your background and needs, including “software developer,” “database handling,” “backend development,” and “progress report.” The reader can understand the main message. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise for a professional letter: “new joinee,” “bug removing,” and “first meet” do not sound idiomatic in this context. “Excess information and less time” is understandable but could be expressed more precisely. There is also some repetition of basic linking language. Aim for conventional workplace collocations and more precise descriptions of your skills and the difficulty you face; this would improve naturalness and flexibility without changing your meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “so,” and your meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, but they rarely prevent understanding. For example, “I am writing you” is missing “to,” and “my name is Aakash having job Id…” combines sentence elements awkwardly. In “I would appreciate you if you could help me,” the structure should be “I would appreciate it if you could help me.” The phrase “I am facing issues” would be more consistent with the past experience described if the tense were clarified. Review articles, verb patterns, and sentence boundaries, and check punctuation around longer sentences to improve accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.