Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing to formally introduce myself as you have been chosen as my ideal person at our office.

My name is Jaspreet Kaur and I joined this work place on July 15th as a Business Analyst; I completed my graduation in Bachelors of Commerce from Punjabi University Patiala. My hand on experiences have helped me a lot throughout my career, I worked in three different companies in the last ten years. Lately, I was promoted to Senior Business Analyst in Microsoft. All this hardwork can provide me abundance of motivation and knowledge to pose my skills into your company.

I would be really grateful if you could help me going further, as you know I am new to this business therefore I will require your participation in handing me over the paper work. Moreover, your guidance will motivate me to get in touch with people such as vendors, colleagues and share holders. I would really appreciate if you could also facilitate me about the annual budget of our organization.

Our first meeting is on upcoming Monday, for that I would like to suggest some of my opinions. Firstly, the meeting will be held in a conference room rather than a cafe because extended time and quite atmosphere is required for concentration. Furthermore, we will be discussing about the ongoing financial issues of the company therefore I want to accumulate a projector so I can present powerpoint slides on that. I hope all these prepartions will contribute to smooth and comfortable meeting.

I hope you will take this into your kind consideration.

Yours faithfully,

Jaspreet Kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three requested points: you outline your commerce degree and ten years of work experience, describe support you want, and propose arrangements for a first meeting. The background is relevant, and the request for guidance with paperwork, contacts, and the budget gives the mentor a clear sense of your needs. This meets the task well, with some elements already developed beyond a basic outline. However, the help you seek is not always clearly framed as appropriate mentoring—for example, “handing me over the paper work” is unclear—and the meeting plan assumes a date rather than asking whether Monday suits your mentor. The detailed discussion of financial issues and presentation equipment also takes attention away from simply arranging an introductory meeting. Clarifying these points would make the response more complete and purposeful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on your background, one on the support you hope to receive, and a final paragraph about meeting arrangements. Sequencing is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “Firstly,” and “Furthermore” help show how ideas relate. The progression is clear enough for the reader to understand your purpose throughout. At times, however, the linking language feels mechanical, particularly the repeated additive transitions, and the meeting paragraph combines the venue, company finances, and projector into a somewhat over-detailed plan. Some connections between ideas are also abrupt, such as moving from your previous promotion to how your experience will benefit the new company. Grouping related points more tightly and using simpler transitions would make the cohesion more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for a professional letter, including workplace terms such as “Business Analyst,” “annual budget,” “vendors,” and “colleagues.” These choices make your background and requests understandable, and you attempt more formal expressions such as “I would be really grateful” and “facilitate me.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “my ideal person,” “hand on experiences,” “pose my skills,” and “facilitate me about the annual budget.” “Share holders” is also incorrectly written as one word, and “prepartions” contains a spelling error. These slips do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and naturalness. Prefer familiar, accurate professional phrasing over formal-sounding expressions whose meaning is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as,” “because,” and “therefore,” and most of the message remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly in sentence boundaries and verb patterns. For example, “My hand on experiences have helped me a lot throughout my career, I worked…” joins two independent clauses with only a comma; use a full stop or a conjunction. In “I would be really grateful if you could help me going further,” the verb pattern after “help” is not correctly formed. There are also issues with articles and prepositions in phrases such as “in upcoming Monday” and “in a conference room rather than a cafe because extended time… is required.” Revising these patterns would improve accuracy while preserving your varied sentence structure.

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