Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to introduce myself to you as a new pupil. I have experience in Excel and can summarize data and systematically present budget using this skill.

Additionally, I have also had the opportunity to hold a basketball competition in my previous company with little to no fund alloted for the game. I used sponsors for the game as well to get jerseys for the sports players and food was also sponsored.

I am choosing you as my mentor as I came across your details through HR, and I find myself really ambitious like you and want to work hard like you to become the top in the whole company. I heard a few people at the company about your soft behaviour with the subordinates and how you teach everyone to handle all kinds of tasks in a proper manner.

I would like to arrange a meeting with you on this coming Thursday to introduce myself personally. I also have some queries related to a few cases you handled in the company. I am really excited to see you.

Yours truly,

Khadija.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You cover the main purpose of introducing yourself and include relevant information about your Excel skills and organising a sponsored basketball competition. You also explain that you hope to learn from your mentor and propose Thursday for a first meeting. However, the required outline of your previous studies and work experience is only partly addressed: no studies are mentioned, and the work examples are not clearly connected to your roles or career history. Your request for support is also broad—“to become the top in the whole company”—rather than identifying specific guidance you need. Develop these points and make the meeting proposal more practical by suggesting a time or asking whether Thursday suits your mentor.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: you introduce your experience, explain why you chose the mentor, and then suggest a meeting. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and linking expressions such as “Additionally” and “I also” make the sequence easy to follow. Some connections are less clear or feel mechanical, however. For example, the shift from your Excel ability to the basketball event is abrupt, and “I am choosing you as my mentor” does not clearly connect the mentor’s details to the specific help you want. A more explicit progression—background, support needed, then meeting arrangements—would make the relationships between ideas clearer and the letter more cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the letter, including relevant terms such as “summarize data,” “sponsors,” “subordinates,” and “queries.” These choices communicate your experience and interest, though some wording is imprecise or unnatural. “New pupil” is not suitable for a workplace context, while “soft behaviour” does not clearly convey the intended positive quality. “Hold a basketball competition” and “top in the whole company” are also less natural or precise than the context requires. Aim for more accurate workplace collocations and a professional but warm tone. Check spelling as well: “alloted” should be “allotted.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple sentences and more complex forms, including “as I came across your details through HR” and “how you teach everyone to handle all kinds of tasks.” Most of the message remains understandable, and errors rarely obstruct the intended meaning. Some grammatical choices need attention: “I have also had the opportunity to hold…” is awkwardly constructed, and “I heard a few people at the company about your…” is missing a necessary verb pattern, such as “I heard from a few people…” or “I heard people at the company speak about…”. The sentence about the competition also joins several ideas loosely. Practise accurate verb patterns and use punctuation to separate related details.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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