Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.
Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter
give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience
explain what help you hope your mentor can give
suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear....... ,
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Dear Mr Jhon,
I am writing regarding my joining in this organization, and as experienced in this compeny seeking advice and guidence from you to become sucsessful in this role.
To begin with my educational beckground, I have done my bachoulers of science in chemistry as well as I recently graduate from my post bechlours diploma in occupational health and safety managment.Furthermore, last summer, I got chance to work with Nova Scotia power as a trainee.The duration was for 4 months where I develpoed practical skills.
Moreover, I just come acroos your profile. I noticed that you have been working for Nova Scotia power for last 15 years as health and safety manager. With this leadership skill, I am expecting to be guided by you and lookig forwerd to learn more skills and gain my knowledge in this filed.In addition to this, I know that you have hectic schedule but if your schedule allows, looking forwed to meet you in person to discuss more about it.
Thank you for your time and consideration and looking forward to hear from you soon.
Kind reguards,
Aazan Solanki.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address all three required points: you outline your chemistry studies and occupational health and safety qualification, mention a four-month trainee placement, explain that you want guidance and to develop your skills, and express interest in meeting. These details make the letter relevant and its purpose clear. However, the help you hope to receive remains general: “learn more skills and gain my knowledge” does not specify what advice would be useful in your new role. The meeting suggestion is also incomplete because it does not offer a time, place, or alternative. Develop these points with a specific learning goal and a practical proposed arrangement, while retaining the useful background information you have included.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The letter has a clear overall sequence: introduction, education and work history, then your expectations and meeting request, followed by a polite closing. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and connectors such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “Moreover” make the progression easy to follow. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, several transitions feel formulaic, and the final main paragraph combines your mentor’s experience, your learning goals, and the meeting request in one long block. Separate the meeting proposal and use more natural links between related ideas; this would make the progression smoother and reduce the mechanical effect.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant workplace and education vocabulary, including “occupational health and safety management,” “trainee,” “practical skills,” and “health and safety manager.” These choices communicate the subject of your letter, but the range is limited and several noticeable spelling errors make the writing less polished: “compeny,” “sucsessful,” “guidence,” and “develpoed.” Some phrases are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “gain my knowledge” and “come across your profile.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, for example, “expand my knowledge” and “reviewed your profile.” A wider set of precise expressions for the guidance you seek would also help you describe your professional goals more clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “where I developed practical skills” and a conditional phrase in “if your schedule allows.” The main message is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “I recently graduate” needs a past-tense form, and “I just come across your profile” needs a suitable tense such as the present perfect. The opening sentence is also structurally incomplete after “and,” while “I am expecting to be guided” is less natural than a direct construction such as “I hope you can guide me.” Check verb tense and sentence completeness, and divide long sentences where several ideas are joined together.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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