Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear sir,

The purpose of writing this letter is to tell you about myself as I am new joining here in this compnay under your mentorship.

I have done my Bachelor degree in Medical and Health sciences from a well known university with good grades. Formerly I worked in a Medical pharma as a senior manger for past ten years. I do many projects in my perior company and got many awards as best employee of the year as well. I introduced online shopping system in that company and increase their sale ten times.

I think my mentor understnad my perior experinece as a senior manager and give me a better role in his company so, that I work hard here and increase the sale of the company from ground to sky with my experties and experience.

I suggest a better place in comapny with comfortable sitting where only my mentor with me so that we discuss everything briefly for the betterment of our company.

Yours sincerely,

Waqas

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You include relevant information about your studies and work history, mentioning a degree in Medical and Health Sciences, ten years as a senior manager, and a project you led. However, the letter only partially fulfils the purpose of introducing yourself to a mentor. The request for help is unclear: asking the mentor to “give me a better role” sounds like a promotion request rather than advice or career support. The meeting arrangement is also incomplete because you suggest a place but give no possible time or date. Develop these two points by specifying the guidance you want, such as learning workplace procedures, and proposing a convenient time to meet. A clearer, more appropriate request would address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening, a paragraph about your background, a paragraph about the help you expect, and a proposed meeting place. This paragraphing helps the reader identify the main topics. However, progression within the ideas is sometimes unclear, particularly in the sentence about your mentor understanding your experience and giving you a better role. The repeated use of “so that” also makes the links between ideas feel mechanical, and the meeting paragraph does not move on to practical details such as when to meet. Use clearer transitions and keep each paragraph focused on one purpose. For example, separate the kind of guidance you want from the arrangements for a first meeting.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to your background and workplace, including “Bachelor degree,” “senior manager,” “projects,” and “online shopping system.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural expressions reduce clarity and professional tone. “Medical pharma,” “perior company,” and “increase the sale ... from ground to sky” are not natural choices in this context; spelling errors such as “compnay,” “understnad,” and “experties” are also noticeable. Aim for precise workplace collocations and check spelling carefully. Phrases such as “previous employer,” “career guidance,” and “increase sales significantly” would communicate your meaning more naturally and appropriately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate through a mixture of short statements and longer sentences, and the reader can generally follow the main points. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts to connect several ideas often contain grammatical errors. For example, “I do many projects ... and got many awards” shifts tense inconsistently, while “I think my mentor understnad ... and give me” does not maintain correct verb forms. There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, as in “I have done my Bachelor degree” and “where only my mentor with me.” Practise forming complete clauses and keeping verb tense consistent. A clearer version might be: “I led several projects and received an employee-of-the-year award.”

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