Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear sir,

I am writing this letter to about a have a mentor experienced. I join a new mantor . This letter to introduce me. my name is jaspreet kaur. I do the computer mangement course. this course complete the international rayat bahra college. After complete the course two years work experience.

I can help on the other moment. and increase your company. because i know you work and very experience. I know your company all employees very intelligent and more experience. but i sure your keep a your company.

I suggest meet you next week. because now i am free. you first meet your company so better because i understand the work. I feel very exited because with you first meet. but i feel very nervious. I am sure you understand me and like me work and keeping a job.

Hoping a prompt respone,

Yours faithfully,

jaspreet kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make an attempt to introduce yourself and mention your computer management studies, two years of work experience, the support you hope to receive, and a possible meeting next week. However, the task is addressed only minimally: your work experience is not described, and the help you want from the mentor is unclear. The sentence “I can help on the other moment” does not explain what guidance you need, while “I suggest meet you next week” gives no specific time or meeting arrangement. The letter is also one word below the required minimum. Develop each bullet point with clear, relevant details—for example, what skills you want to improve and when and where you could meet.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic letter shape, with an opening, several paragraphs, and a closing, and the ideas broadly follow the task’s order: introduction, hoped-for support, then a meeting. This gives the reader some sense of progression. However, links between ideas are often unclear, and several sentences do not connect logically, such as “I can help on the other moment. and increase your company.” The repeated use of “because” does not clarify the relationships, and the paragraph breaks do not consistently group complete ideas. Organise the letter into three focused paragraphs, one for your background, one for the guidance you seek, and one for a specific meeting proposal, using clear links between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the situation, including “mentor,” “work experience,” “company,” and “meet,” so the general topic is recognisable. However, the range is basic and several word choices or spellings make the message difficult to understand. For example, “a mentor experienced” is an awkward way to describe the relationship, and “I can help on the other moment” does not communicate the intended request. There are also spelling errors such as “mantor,” “mangement,” “exited,” and “nervious.” Build a small set of accurate workplace phrases and check spelling; more precise wording will help you explain your background and expectations clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple forms, and the reader can identify some basic information, such as your name and course. However, grammatical errors are frequent, and several sentences are incomplete or difficult to interpret. For instance, “I am writing this letter to about a have a mentor experienced” has an unclear structure, while “After complete the course two years work experience” lacks a clear subject and verb. Verb forms and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “I suggest meet you next week” and the fragment beginning “and increase your company.” Practise complete subject–verb sentences and common patterns such as “After completing my course, I gained…” and “I would like to meet you…”

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