Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

All new employees at your workplace have a mentor - an experienced colleague who gives them advice and support in their career. As a new employee, you have been given details of your mentor.

Write a letter to introduce yourself to your new mentor. In your letter

• give a brief outline of your previous studies and work experience

• explain what help you hope your mentor can give

• suggest arrangements for a first meeting with your mentor

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear....... ,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Mr Singh,

I am writing this email to inform you. You are doing well , firstly, I introduce myself. My name is Jaspreet kaur. I have recently completed my course associate of arts from university canada west.

moreover, i have my previous job experience in meat cutter, like how to deal with challenges, good communication, team work as wel as time managing skill. i am good at easily grap any tast with firection of seconds. I would also improve my professional as wel as communication skills by this job.

I am appling job as a mentor so have some questions about job like what is the task done by me everyday or sechudles . I am inform that nex week we are meeting any time in coffee time to discuss about job choores. so let me know whats time you have avalibility of meeting as soon as possible.

I am waiting for you response.

your sincerely,

jaspreet kaur

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You make an attempt to introduce yourself and mention your studies, previous work, the support you want, and a possible meeting. However, the task is addressed only minimally because several details are unclear or do not fit the situation. For example, “I am appling job as a mentor” suggests you are applying to be a mentor, rather than writing as a new employee to your assigned mentor. Your request for help focuses on questions about daily tasks and schedules, but does not clearly explain what career advice or support you hope to receive. The meeting suggestion is also vague: “any time in coffee time” does not give a clear day or time. Clarify your role and develop each requested point with specific, relevant details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic letter structure, and the paragraphs broadly move from your introduction to work experience and then to questions and a meeting. This gives the reader some organisation. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear: “I am writing this email to inform you” is followed by an unrelated greeting and then a self-introduction, while the shift to “I am appling job as a mentor” makes the purpose difficult to follow. Connect ideas more clearly and use paragraph breaks to separate your background, the support you seek, and meeting arrangements. Some linking words, such as “moreover,” are used mechanically rather than showing a clear relationship between ideas. A more direct sequence and clearer references would make the letter easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to work, including “communication,” “team work,” “challenges,” and “professional skills,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is basic and several spelling, word-choice, and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand. Phrases such as “grap any tast with firection of seconds” and “job choores” obscure your meaning, while “coffee time” is not a clear way to propose a meeting. There are also repeated forms such as “skills” and “job.” Choose familiar, accurate expressions rather than attempting unclear phrases, and check spelling carefully. More precise language for your experience and the guidance you want would make the letter more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, but the range of structures is limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes making the intended meaning hard to follow. For example, “I am writing this email to inform you” is left incomplete in context, and “I am inform that nex week we are meeting” has an incorrect verb form and an unclear sentence structure. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “moreover, i” and the comma before “firstly.” The closing phrase “your sincerely” is not grammatically formed as a letter sign-off. Practise complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check verb forms, articles, and punctuation. Separating long ideas into shorter sentences will help you communicate more accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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