Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Vitamin deficiencies have emerged as a major health concern among people. Usually, medical specialists advies patients to consume required nutrients from the clean diet. However, a few individuals prefer spending money on the supplements. There are numerous reason behind this problem, which can be resolved by taking various positive steps.

Among the reasons, the most significant one is the imbalance in worklife management. Some individuals focus more on their professional duties rather than giving preference to their personal health. Therefore, sometimes they even start skipping the meals because of more workload. Repetition of this practice could cost them spending more money on the supplements instead of eating good diet. Secondly, some youngteers eat junk food due to peer pressure, as they want to fit in with their friends. As everyone's body react differently, so some youngsteers who are not deficient to vitamins usually feel fine while others who are required to consume healthy diet may face health problems and this could lead them to consume vitamin pills over a clean diet.

Despite the depth of the situation, there are workable solutions at our siposal. One would be preferring health over workplace duties. Professional career holds an importance in one's life but this should not be considered over the personal health. Government should implement strict laws where an employee is only able to work for maximum of 8 hours a day, until some exceptions. So, people can stop doing overtimes. In addition to it, employees agree on working overtimes, just to earn some extra incentives but not considering their physical fitness can lead them to admitted into hospital. Secondly, schools should consider introducing healthy options in the canteens. Hence, everyone can healthy food.

In conclusion, workload and peer influence appear to be at the root of this issue, which can be reolved by government laws and innovation in canteen menus.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a relevant focus. The reasons—work pressures leading to skipped meals and peer influence encouraging junk food—are understandable, and you suggest government limits on working hours and healthier school canteens. However, some points are not fully explained: the link between skipping meals and spending on supplements needs clearer reasoning, and the discussion of young people’s differing vitamin needs is difficult to follow. The solutions also do not directly explain how people would be persuaded to choose a healthy diet over pills; for example, you could add nutrition education, public health campaigns, or practical advice on affordable meals. Developing these connections and supporting them with a specific example would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, one on solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Among the reasons,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages, and the conclusion returns to the central ideas. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some movement towards more flexible cohesion. However, links within sentences are sometimes mechanical or unclear, particularly “As everyone’s body react differently, so…” and “Hence, everyone can healthy food.” The relationship between ideas in the second cause is also hard to trace. Use fewer formulaic connectors and make each sentence’s connection to the previous point explicit; clearer referencing would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “vitamin deficiencies,” “nutrients,” “supplements,” “peer pressure,” and “physical fitness.” These choices show an attempt to discuss health and work in appropriate terms. However, noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision, as in “advies,” “youngteers,” “at our siposal,” and “innovation in canteen menus.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “clean diet,” “imbalance in worklife management,” and “cost them spending more money.” The intended meaning is generally recoverable, but these errors sometimes make the reader pause. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, such as “balanced diet,” “work-life balance,” and “spend money on supplements.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect clauses and conditional structures, as in “Repetition of this practice could…” and “if they want to fit in with their friends.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main message is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, however. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “everyone’s body react,” and the final solution sentence is incomplete: “Hence, everyone can healthy food.” Other examples include “a few individuals prefer spending money on the supplements” and “lead them to admitted into hospital,” where article use or verb patterns need correction. Review agreement, articles, and verb forms after modal verbs and in infinitive constructions. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex sentences clearer.

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