Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Healthy diet is a good way to get all the vitamins.However alot of people buy the vitamin pills to improve their health.

There are many reasons folks spend mass amonut of their income on the vitamins,first and foremost many places do not have enough sunshine and good food due to climate changes.Those people feel weak and take all the vitamins from pills. Sometimes people have that kind of work where they are unable to eat healthy deit on regular bases.However on the other side advertisements of these products make a impact on individuals thinking to buy them nad use them.When they watch famous faces eating and they are looking good and beautifull after eating them.They copy them and bought those pills without thinking anything.

If we want people be persuaded to improve their diet ,Goverment can play a vital role in this to improve their diet ,they can put posters and slogens for the healthy food. Prople will be able to get knowledge from them and get some motivation.Apart from that school and college courses can be a good source of knowledge. When students start learning healthy food habits it will be good for them later in their life to maintene those things regularly.

There are many reasons that due to health peoblems and infulence of under the advertisemnts people bought these vitamines and eat ,but

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you suggest that limited access to sunshine or healthy food, demanding work, and advertising can lead people to buy supplements, and you propose government campaigns and school education as alternatives. These are relevant ideas, but they are only briefly explained. For example, the point about climate and food access is not clearly connected to why pills seem worth the expense, and the suggestions do not explain how campaigns would change people’s choices. The final sentence is unfinished (“but”), so the response ends without a complete conclusion. The response also contains 226 words, below the required 250, which limits the space available to develop and support your ideas. Add a clear concluding statement and specific examples or explanations for each main point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation: the first paragraph gives reasons for buying pills, while the next offers ways to encourage healthier eating. Linking expressions such as “first and foremost,” “However,” and “Apart from that” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is uneven, and several connections are unclear or repetitive. The shift from lack of sunshine to work schedules and then advertising is abrupt, while “However on the other side” combines linking phrases awkwardly. The final paragraph repeats earlier points and stops mid-sentence, leaving the essay without a coherent ending. Use one clear topic sentence per paragraph, arrange supporting points in a logical order, and use references such as “this influence” to make links between sentences clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “vitamin pills,” “advertisements,” “healthy food habits,” and “motivation.” This gives the reader a basic understanding of your ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the message less clear, such as “mass amonut,” “deit,” “slogens,” and “maintene.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “famous faces eating” and “get knowledge.” Aim for more precise, natural expressions and check spelling carefully. For instance, you could describe people as being “influenced by celebrity endorsements” and say that campaigns “raise awareness.” Avoid repeating “diet” and “vitamins” by using suitable alternatives such as “nutritional habits” and “supplements.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “Sometimes people have that kind of work where…” and a conditional idea beginning “If we want people…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence construction, verb forms, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand the meaning. Examples include “If we want people be persuaded,” “they… bought those pills,” and the incomplete final sentence ending in “but.” Several sentences also run together without appropriate punctuation, such as the opening “Healthy diet is a good way… However alot…”. Practise forming complete clauses, using consistent verb tenses, and checking articles and sentence boundaries. Reading each sentence aloud can help you identify where a full stop or conjunction is needed.

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