Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, people are spending much amount of money to purchase vitamin pills. Despite of this, doctors are recommending healthy diet to get vitamins than taking tablets. There are many reason for this kind of habit. This essay will discuss some important factors about it.

First and foremost, these days people are busy to cook for themselves. So, they prefer taking vitamin pills. for instance we can get vitamin D from egg, avocado meat etc. But some people are suffering due to vitamin D deficiency by ignoring this kind of meals. Although there are some individuals who do not have any knowledge on nutrition so they simply take vitamin pills as a trend.

Another reason is the market system sometimes it is hard to get ripen fruits nearby shops so, we fail to had it . we can get vitamin c from fruits like orange and lemon but, sometimes we do not focus on balancing on our diet. consequently, the only option will be taking the pills.

I believe if the government should put some legislation on increasing the cost of vitamin pill in order to save the live of its people. Taking pills has its own disadvantage on the liver. moreover the funding on imported drug will be minimized in laying such laws and there will be budget transformation towards other very vital drugs.

In conclusion, awareness must be created at the community level in order to encourage about healthy diet and government should strictly supervise the market system to make vitamin rich foods available to the people on local markets.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both questions: it suggests that busy people choose pills for convenience and that limited nutrition knowledge and access to fresh produce also contribute. It also proposes community awareness and government action to improve food availability. These are relevant ideas, but some are not fully explained. For example, the point about people lacking knowledge is brief, and the claim that raising the cost of pills would encourage healthier eating is not clearly justified; it could instead make supplements less affordable without changing diets. The discussion of possible liver harm and reduced spending on imported drugs also needs clearer support. Develop each main reason and explain how each proposed measure would influence people’s choices more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, two paragraphs explaining reasons, a paragraph proposing government action, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Another reason,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The example about vitamin D deficiency does not clearly show why busy people choose pills, and the shift from pill prices to liver effects and imported-drug funding makes the third body paragraph difficult to follow. Several sentences also run ideas together, while punctuation around transitions such as “so” and “consequently” is inconsistent. Group related points more tightly and use clearer links to show cause, example, and result.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate its main points, including “vitamin deficiency,” “balancing our diet,” “legislation,” and “community level.” It also attempts more formal expressions such as “funding on imported drug” and “budget transformation,” showing an effort to discuss policy. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “much amount of money,” “busy to cook,” “market system,” and “budget transformation.” Some repetition of “vitamin pills” and “diet” also limits flexibility. Choose more natural combinations and precise terms—for example, describe the availability of fresh produce rather than referring vaguely to the “market system.” These improvements would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay includes both simple statements and attempts at complex sentences, for example, “Although there are some individuals who do not have any knowledge on nutrition so they simply take vitamin pills as a trend.” This shows an effort to vary sentence structure, but some complex constructions are not controlled, and errors occur in agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation. Examples include “There are many reason,” “we fail to had it,” and “I believe if the government should put,” where the sentence pattern or verb form is faulty. The opening also uses “Despite of this,” which needs a different grammatical construction. Work on forming one clear clause relationship at a time, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and punctuating sentence boundaries consistently.

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