Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Other person saving a budget for their everyday vitamin pills, but Doctor incourage us the vitamins we need get healhty diet for our body.

To begin about these topic why people wasting their income to buy vitamin pills,I think because they need to support the needs of their body, some are thin people and like to build their body and going to a gym so taking of vitamins it's will help.another one is the person who have a heavy load hard work every day or some are in nigh-tshift they also need as well,

On these case i suggest to the people who whants to inhance their facing everyday diet, Is to give some importance of time on exercise for example like walikng jogging going to the gym one of them can be helpul, Additionaly is to being vegetarian life style, They can reduce their meals specially rice meat or some kind of fast-food chain foods and with preservatives goods

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You make an attempt to address both questions: you suggest that people take pills to support their bodies, build muscle, or cope with demanding work, and you propose exercise and dietary changes. However, the reasons are brief and not clearly explained, and the second answer does not directly show how people could be persuaded to choose food over supplements. For example, “give some importance of time on exercise” is advice, but it does not explain what might convince people to change. The response also does not meet the required minimum of 250 words, so there is little space to develop relevant examples or explain your ideas. Add specific measures, such as public health information or affordable healthy-food options, and support them with examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the topic, the next paragraph gives reasons for buying pills, and the final paragraph offers suggestions. This gives the reader some sense of the two parts of the task. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow, and several ideas are joined without clear relationships. The list “some are thin people… another one is the person who have a heavy load hard work” needs clearer explanation and separation. Linking phrases such as “To begin” and “Additionally” are attempted, but they do not consistently make the logic clear. Use one paragraph for each question, begin each with a clear main point, and connect supporting details explicitly to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to health and lifestyle, including “vitamin pills,” “healthy diet,” “exercise,” “vegetarian life style,” and “fast-food.” These choices make the general topic recognisable, and there are attempts to express more specific ideas about work schedules and body-building. However, the range is limited, and inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling sometimes make the meaning hard to understand. Phrases such as “saving a budget,” “support the needs of their body,” and “inhance their facing everyday diet” are not natural or clear in this context. Spelling errors such as “incourage,” “healhty,” and “nigh-tshift” also reduce precision. Practise common health-related collocations and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to use longer sentences and gives some reasons with examples, but sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to control. For instance, “Other person saving a budget…” is not a complete, clear sentence, while “some are thin people and like to build their body and going to a gym” has problems with clause structure and parallel verb forms. There are also recurring errors in agreement and articles, as in “the person who have,” and in verb patterns, as in “it’s will help.” Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, making sentence boundaries unclear. Focus first on accurate simple sentences, then combine them using “because,” “so,” and “for example.” Check subject–verb agreement and keep verb forms parallel in lists.

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