Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Doctors always encourage us that our bodies get all the required vitamins we need by eating healthy and balanced meals which include vegitables. However, some individuals continue to spent a lot of money on vitamin pills.

In a world full of tight work schedules, some people find it easier and faster to ingest vitamin pills rather than invest their time in preparing and eating whole meals. For instance, I used to take vitamin pills a lot before my cousin, who is a doctor, sat me down and advised me that vitamin pills can have some serious health implications in the long run. Your body can become overly- dependant on the vitamin pills like a drug. Since the pills are expensive, they may end up draining your wallet. My work schedule was always busy as a result, I found preparing meals and eating healthy food time consuming, instead of just taking vitamin pills regularly.

Additionally, companies which are producing vitamin pills have heavily invested in advertising their products on the national television. For example, everyday before the evening news, there is always several commercials endorsing vitamin pills. Since a lot of people watch the national television, they consume this information and are persuaded to buy vitamin pills. I know some families where everyone takes vitamin pills on a daily basis.

People can be convinced to improve their diet instead of buying and consuming vitamin pills through diet education by doctors. Since there is commercials which endorse vitamin pills, the government through the ministry of health should also invest in making commercials encouraging people to eat healthy and balanced meals. These commercials should be heavily advertised on national television and well known social media platforms such as facebook.

In conclusion, people should listen to doctors and invest more in improving their diet instead of spending a lot of money on expensive vitamin pills which may have side effects in the long run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both questions and maintains a clear position: convenience and advertising help explain purchases, while health education and counter-advertising are proposed as solutions. The personal example about taking pills and receiving advice from a doctor makes the first reason relevant and gives it some support. The advertising point is also illustrated, but the claim that viewers are persuaded to buy pills is asserted rather than explained in depth. The proposed education campaigns are relevant, though the response could clarify how they would change people’s choices or give a more specific example of practical dietary guidance. This covers the task effectively, but the ideas are not all developed to the same extent; fuller explanation and support would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs explaining why people buy supplements, a paragraph proposing solutions, and a conclusion. The progression from personal convenience to advertising and then to public education is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Additionally,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some connections are mechanical, and a few sentences run ideas together: “My work schedule was always busy as a result…” would be clearer if divided or linked with appropriate punctuation. The reference to “these commercials” is understandable, but the solution paragraph could connect more explicitly to the earlier discussion of advertising. More varied, precise transitions and clearer sentence boundaries would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing health, work pressures, advertising, and public education. Phrases such as “tight work schedules,” “health implications,” “draining your wallet,” and “balanced meals” show some range beyond basic wording. There are also attempts at more formal expressions, including “invested in advertising” and “persuaded to buy.” However, several choices are imprecise or awkward, such as “encourage us that,” “spent a lot of money,” and “invest in making commercials.” Spelling and form errors, including “vegitables,” “dependant,” and “everyday” where “every day” is intended, also limit accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully; this would make the argument sound more precise and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex structures, including subordinate clauses beginning “Since” and “which,” and most meaning remains clear. The sentence “In a world full of tight work schedules, some people find it easier and faster…” is a clear example of effective sentence control. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In the opening, “some individuals continue to spent” should use the infinitive “spend”; “there is several commercials” needs plural agreement; and “Since there is commercials” repeats this agreement problem. The sentence beginning “My work schedule was always busy” also joins two independent clauses without suitable punctuation. Review subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to use complex clauses. Greater consistency in these areas would improve accuracy.

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