Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that they can improve their minerals levels by having a balanced diet by a physician advised but on the other hand, some people believe that spending huge amount of money on artificial sources can fulfill their needs. This essay will argue that why pupils spend their money on medicines and how they can shift themselves form medicines to a good balanced diet.

The main reason of some individuals depends on medicines as they do not have enough time to cook their meals due to having busy working schedule. Although, these medicines are expensive, they need to be consumed to prevent themselves from diseases. Moreover, these artificial sources are more convenient easy to carry and provide benefits to them in a short span of time. Therefore, most people spend their large amount salary on these tablets instead of following a nutritious diet.

But, people can not rely on these tablets for longer period as these can have negative impact on their bodies. These medicines are prepared from chemicals which can cause serious health issues such as vomiting, fever and diarreha. Therefore, they should prefer homely cooked meals rather than pills. They can plan a meal for week or hire a nutrition who can help them to manage their busy schedule by suggesting alternatives foods than tablets. These meals can be easily accessible for everyone and budget friendly.

To conclude, having a well balanced diet is one of the way improve nutrients in our body. Even, some individuals depends on supplements to fulfill their mineral levels, they will not continue this method for longer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for vitamin consumption and methods for persuasion. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you mention busy schedules as a reason, the explanation remains superficial. Similarly, the suggestions for persuasion, such as hiring a nutritionist, are relevant but lack depth. The position is clear, but the argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or a more nuanced exploration of the topic. The conclusion is slightly repetitive and does not fully synthesize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, ensure that each idea is fully extended with clear reasoning and illustrative examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Therefore', and 'To conclude' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'But, people can not rely...' at the start of the third paragraph. Additionally, some sentences lack smooth flow, making the progression of ideas feel a bit disjointed at times. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'these medicines') is always clear will help improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'nutritious diet', 'supplements', and 'artificial sources'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'minerals levels' instead of 'mineral levels' and 'homely cooked' instead of 'home-cooked'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on basic descriptors. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater sophistication and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'This essay will argue that why pupils spend' (incorrect clause structure), 'shift themselves form medicines' (preposition error), and 'some individuals depends' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and refining complex sentence construction will significantly improve your grammatical accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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