Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the world of rapid change where results are expected to appear before the given time, It wouldn't be wrong to agree that few people tend to spend hefty amount of money on vitamin pills, despite the doctors advice that all the important vitamins needed for one to function can easily be attend from a healthy diet.
In my opinion few people spend hefty amount of money on vitamin pills, as now a days people aren't able to manage their social and personal life due to huge amount of workload. They have started being lousy and begin sustaining on fast-food, ready to eat meals or junk foods, which has no vitamins or minerals just filled with carbs and fats. To complete the body requirements it has now been a trend to take health supplements which can't be found in the diet.
As technology is being test and improvised in respect to the needs of the society. It wouldn't be hard to convince people with help of newest technology available with us. It is undeniable fact that how busy a person is but fails to check their social media or keep up with new trends which are buzzing over the internet. The new famous trend setters who will call the influencers could be a great help in persuading people to shift to healthy diet instead of vitamin pills or health supplements as people blindly flow the buzzing role model who are healthy and give tips to how to same like them.
To illustrate from my knowledge, government should intervene and launch a platform where people can be educated and given right information how to lead a healthy life free off supplements where they can also invite famous figures as athletes, film stars and influencers who famous among the population and living a healthy life who can set example host a meet an greet with them where they can speak about on the advantages of having a healthy diet along with what could be the drawbacks in near future is one just keeps on relying on health supplements.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, providing reasons for the consumption of vitamin pills and suggestions for persuasion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The explanation regarding why people buy supplements is clear, but the second part—how to persuade them—relies heavily on the concept of 'influencers' and government platforms without exploring other potential avenues like education or policy changes. The position is generally clear, but the argument could be more nuanced. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more specific examples or logical consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a central theme. There is a clear progression of ideas from the problem to the proposed solution. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'As technology is being test and improvised' or 'To illustrate from my knowledge'. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be more sophisticated to improve the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'hefty amount', 'sustaining', and 'intervene'. However, there are several instances of inaccurate word choice and collocation, such as 'attend from a healthy diet' (instead of 'obtained'), 'being test' (instead of 'tested'), and 'flow the buzzing role model' (instead of 'follow'). These errors do not impede communication, but they indicate a need for more precise control over word choice and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms ('is being test'), subject-verb agreement, and missing articles. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward phrasings that affect the flow. The majority of sentences contain minor errors, though the meaning remains clear. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically verb tenses and the correct use of prepositions and articles.
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