Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Undoubtedly, it is important to have a sound body to live life comfortably. Similarly, balance diet is advised by doctors so that an individual can get all the vital vitamins, but there are still some people who heavily rely on the consumption of medication that provides essential vitamins. This essay will explain the reasons why people spend a huge amount of money on pills, along with some strategies for how diet can be improved instead of taking medicine.
The first reason why humans spend a lot of money on supplements is that some people are allergic to certain food items, like almonds, so in that situation they think medicine is a good source to avoid a deficiency of Vitamin E. Consequently, they start taking capsules of Vitamin E. Secondly, in this era most of the food items are adulterated, even having a balance diet will not provide essential minerals required by the body so the only option available is indirect consumption via pills.
There are several ways to persuade people to improve their diet, government should execute strict rules if any one caught mixing unwanted materials in the food would be given strict punishment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 194 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay introduces the topic and attempts to address the two prompts, the second part of the question regarding persuasion strategies is severely underdeveloped. The response lacks sufficient depth, examples, and a concluding summary. Because the task is not fully addressed due to the length, the response cannot reach a higher band. To improve, you must expand on your arguments with specific examples and ensure all parts of the prompt are explored in detail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression. You use some cohesive devices like 'The first reason' and 'Consequently,' which help the flow. However, the lack of a proper conclusion and the abrupt ending of the second body paragraph disrupt the overall coherence. The transition between the reasons for buying pills and the strategies for persuasion is weak. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that you provide a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points, which will help create a more unified and professional structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to communicate your ideas, such as 'adulterated,' 'deficiency,' and 'consumption.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'balance diet' (should be 'balanced diet') and 'sound body' (which is slightly unnatural in this context). The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using collocations correctly and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for common words to enhance the academic tone of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'if any one caught mixing... would be given' (missing 'is' and 'who is'), and 'balance diet' instead of 'balanced diet.' Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure in the final paragraph is fragmented and lacks clarity. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to affect the overall quality. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your complex sentences are constructed with correct grammatical links.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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