Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
industry utilises powerful marketing campaigns. Through persuasive advertising and social media endorsement, companies convince consumers that present food sources are depleted of vitamins. To exemplify, multivitamin supplement adverts present a healthy and fit individual after consuming vitamins pills because food does not give enough of them. Thus, this trend increase for adverts.
Turning to solutions, Public health authorities should launch comprehensive educational campaigns. For instance, explaining that the body absorbs essential vitamin C far more effectively rather than a tablet. As a result, individuals might be more aware about their food and do not get influenced by social media campaign. Furthermore, government could implement subsides on fresh fruits, whole grains and vegetable, however, taxing heavily processed foods or synthetic supplements. Thes could make
While medical professionals agree that a well balanced diet provides all essential nutrients require for healthy person. Nonetheless a significant number of individuals continue to invest substantial amount of money into dietary supplements. This essay shall discuss the underlying reasons for this trend and suggest viable strategies to encourage healthier eating habits.
To initiate, there are numerous reason why people buy vitamin pills and the primary reason is the fast-paced nature of modern life. Owing to this lifestyle pressure individuals have insufficient time to plan, shop for and prepare nutritional meals. To illustrate, most of the people have 9 to 5 work schedule, they donot cook a balanced food daily at home. Consequently, they prefer to take daily supplement to cover up their nutritional need for healthy body and mind Additionally, the supplement
industry utilises powerful marketing campaigns. Through persuasive advertising and social media endorsement, companies convince consumers that present food sources are depleted of vitamins. To exemplify, multivitamin supplement adverts present a healthy and fit individual after consuming vitamins pills because food does not give enough of them. Thus, this trend increase for adverts.
Turning to solutions, Public health authorities should launch comprehensive educational campaigns. For instance, explaining that the body absorbs essential vitamin C far more effectively rather than a tablet. As a result, individuals might be more aware about their food and do not get influenced by social media campaign. Furthermore, government could implement subsides on fresh fruits, whole grains and vegetable, however, taxing heavily processed foods or synthetic supplements. Thes could make
nutritional food more affordable and accessible to people which would incentivise people buy more from supermat dule rather than pharmacy.
To sum up, though modern lifestyle pressure and comparales persuasive advertisement, this could cater by facilitating subsidy on essential food items and educational campaigne
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying lifestyle pressures as a reason for supplement use and suggesting educational campaigns and subsidies as solutions. However, the structure is significantly compromised by the repetition of entire paragraphs, which suggests a failure in the drafting process. While the ideas are relevant, the repetition makes the development of the argument disjointed and confusing. The position is clear, but the overall task fulfilment is hindered by the lack of a coherent, singular flow of ideas. To improve, ensure that the essay is proofread to remove redundant sections and that each paragraph contributes uniquely to the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay suffers from severe structural issues due to the repetition of the second and third paragraphs. This makes the progression of ideas illogical and repetitive. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices such as 'To initiate', 'Turning to solutions', and 'Furthermore', their effectiveness is undermined by the fact that the text they connect is duplicated. Paragraphing is present but rendered ineffective by the content repetition. To reach a higher band, you must ensure that each paragraph introduces new information and that the logical flow is maintained without unnecessary restatement of previous points.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with some good collocations such as 'nutritional needs', 'heavily processed foods', and 'comprehensive educational campaigns'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'trend increase for adverts' and 'comparales persuasive advertisement'. The repetition of the same vocabulary in the duplicated paragraphs also limits the perceived range. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of synonyms and ensure that collocations are used accurately in context to convey your meaning more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the body absorbs essential vitamin C far more effectively rather than a tablet' (incorrect comparative structure) and 'government could implement subsides' (missing article). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentence fragments and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors, combined with the repetitive structure, impacts the overall readability. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would help improve the accuracy of your writing.
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