Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While medical professionals agree that a well balanced diet provides all essential nutrients require for healthy person. Nonetheless a significant number of individuals continue to invest substantial amount of money into dietary supplements. This essay shall discuss the underlying reasons for this trend and suggest viable strategies to encourage healthier eating habits.

To initiate, there are numerous reason why people buy vitamin pills and the primary reason is the fast-paced nature of modern life. Owing to this lifestyle pressure individuals have insufficient time to plan, shop for and prepare nutritional meals. To illustrate, most of the people have 9 to 5 work schedule, they donot cook a balanced food daily at home. Consequently, they prefer to take daily supplement to cover up their nutritional need for healthy body and mind Additionally, the supplement

industry utilises powerful marketing campaigns. Through persuasive advertising and social media endorsement, companies convince consumers that present food sources are depleted of vitamins. To exemplify, multivitamin supplement adverts present a healthy and fit individual after consuming vitamins pills because food does not give enough of them. Thus, this trend increase for adverts.

Turning to solutions, Public health authorities should launch comprehensive educational campaigns. For instance, explaining that the body absorbs essential vitamin C far more effectively rather than a tablet. As a result, individuals might be more aware about their food and do not get influenced by social media campaign. Furthermore, government could implement subsides on fresh fruits, whole grains and vegetable, however, taxing heavily processed foods or synthetic supplements. Thes could make

nutritional food more affordable and accessible to people which would incentivise people buy more from supermat dule rather than pharmacy.

To sum up, though modern lifestyle pressure and comparales persuasive advertisement, this could cater by facilitating subsidy on essential food items and educational campaigne

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the reasons for supplement consumption and strategies for improvement. The ideas are relevant, such as the 'fast-paced nature of modern life' and 'marketing campaigns'. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph is cut off mid-sentence, and the conclusion is underdeveloped, failing to fully synthesize the proposed solutions. While the position is clear, the lack of completion in the second paragraph and the brevity of the final summary prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure all points are fully expanded and that the essay structure remains consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay uses paragraphing to separate the two main questions, which is a positive feature. Cohesive devices such as 'To initiate', 'Consequently', and 'Turning to solutions' are used to guide the reader. However, there are issues with cohesion within paragraphs. For example, the transition between the marketing point and the conclusion of the second paragraph is abrupt and incomplete. Additionally, some referencing is slightly mechanical. The flow is generally logical, but the abrupt ending and some awkward sentence transitions limit the effectiveness of the overall progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some good collocations such as 'well balanced diet', 'nutritional needs', and 'comprehensive educational campaigns'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and spelling mistakes, such as 'comparales' instead of 'comparable', 'subside' instead of 'subsidies', and 'supermat dule' which is unclear. These errors occasionally distract the reader. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that spelling is accurate, especially for key terms related to the topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('a healthy person'), subject-verb agreement issues ('there are numerous reason'), and punctuation errors (missing commas after introductory phrases). The sentence 'This could cater by facilitating...' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of these errors is noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensure that complex sentence structures are constructed with correct verb forms and prepositions.

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