Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Doctors inform that people can have all the vitamins they need from a healthy diet, but some people spend a significant amount of money on vitamin pills because of the artificial additives added in the vegetable and fruits which results in vitamin deficit. However, people can buy organic fruits and vegetables from the farm to improve their vitamin deficiency.

To begin with, despite doctors advice, people tend to spend a huge amount of money on vitamin pills to improve its deficiency. This is because, some farmers nowadays add artificial additives into fruits and vegetables for their fast growth, which results in their lack of minerals and nutrients. Therefore, people buy vitamin pills to fulfil their bodies need. As a result, some people take such medicines after breakfast, while some prefer to take them at night. Moreover, it helps people to live healthy even though its not organic.

However, People could stop taking these medicines by eating healthy and organic food. Some farmers allow their customers to pick their required vegies from the land own their own. It lets people to ensure quality and authenticity of the food. This is because, when everybody is mixing artificial flavors into food, some farmers are focusing on organic farming, and let people eat healthy food. As a result, people may stop consuming pills, and can eat foods enriched with high vitamin.

To conclude, although some people are fully relied on medicines, having organic food can help people to get rid of such medicines, instead vitamin level can be improved with natural farmed foods.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for buying vitamin pills and ways to persuade people to improve their diet. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding 'artificial additives' in produce is a relevant point, but it is repeated multiple times without significant expansion. The second body paragraph suggests 'pick-your-own' farming as a solution, which is a creative idea but lacks depth in explaining how this would persuade a broad population to change their habits. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly explored to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'As a result' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing and some mechanical transitions. For instance, the phrase 'As a result' is used twice in close proximity with similar functions. Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother to improve the overall progression of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is frequent repetition of basic terms like 'people', 'food', and 'vitamin pills'. Some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'improve its deficiency' (deficiencies are usually corrected or addressed, not improved) and 'bodies need' (missing possessive apostrophe). While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'organic farming' and 'nutrients', the range is limited, and the expression of ideas remains somewhat simplistic throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'Doctors inform that' (should be 'inform us that'), 'its not organic' (should be 'it is'), and 'let people to ensure' (should be 'lets people ensure'). Punctuation errors, such as missing apostrophes in 'bodies' and 'vegies', are also present. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency and accuracy of the writing.

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