Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is an undeniable fact that vitamins play a paramount role in keeping a body healthy. Doctors advise that all types of vitamins could be obtained by eating a healthy diet. However, few people spend a large amount of money on the pills. From my perspective, people are not aware enough about the vitamins they could get from eating certain foods; whereas, governments and doctors should initiate to aware people about it.

To begin with, our food consists of various vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates and lipids. Whenever people are diagnosed with some deficiencies in their body, the first thing they do is start taking medicines. For instance, people take B12 injections and D3 shots for a certain duration of time. Apparently, eating beetroot can increase B12 in one's body; whereas, eating eggs, drinking milk, or sunbathing early in the morning boosts vitamin D3. Most importantly, people lack on nutrition knowledge, that makes them thinking that pills are the only option to get a healthy body. Moreover, some doctors recommend the pills so that they can earn more by selling it to patients. Furthermore, the way medical companies advertise their products clearly brainwash people, as it makes them believe that having a sound health requires one to eat those medicines. Later on, parents do not stop their children from eating junk food, as a result they get malnourished when they grow older.

However, we seldom give a thought to ponder over the ways by which this situation could be improved. Firstly, it is the government's responsibility to educate its citizen on healthier lifestyle. For example, awareness camps and body checkup camps could help people to be acknowledged about nutritions and balanced diet. Additionally, lectures on food and nutrition in school can encourage children towards healthier choice of food, so in future, they will be habitual to healthier lifestyle by avoiding junk food. Last but not least, with the prescribed medicine, doctors should also educate patients on food nutrients.

The seemingly inexorable debate about getting all the vitamins can keep on going. Nevertheless, showing deep reverence for all aspects and observing a finer nuance of the matter mentioned above, I espouse the notion of supporting the fact that medicines are essential only if the deficiencies are at the maximum level, otherwise it could be recovered by eating a healthy diet. Though, medicines help to recover the body, it also reacts otherwise sometimes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for vitamin pill consumption and strategies for persuasion. The ideas are relevant, such as the lack of nutritional knowledge and the influence of marketing. However, some points are under-developed; for instance, the claim that doctors recommend pills solely for profit is a generalization that lacks nuance. While the position is clear, the development of the second part of the prompt could be more detailed, particularly regarding how to effectively change public behavior beyond just 'awareness camps'. Overall, the response covers all requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'However'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced, such as 'The seemingly inexorable debate...' in the conclusion, which does not flow naturally from the previous paragraph. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'it' in 'selling it to patients', where the antecedent is plural 'pills'. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'paramount', 'malnourished', and 'inexorable'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'initiate to aware people' (should be 'initiate awareness campaigns') and 'habitual to healthier lifestyle' (should be 'accustomed to'). The phrase 'brainwash people' is slightly informal for an academic essay. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'few people spend' (should be 'some people' or 'many people' given the context), 'lack on nutrition knowledge' (should be 'lack nutritional knowledge'), and 'makes them thinking' (should be 'makes them think'). Punctuation is generally functional, though some comma usage is inconsistent. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. The student shows an attempt at complex structures, but control is inconsistent.

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