Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In these modern times, doctors often give advice to people that they can get all the vitamins from a healthy diet. Regardless of this suggestion, many people prefer to spend huge amounts of money on vitamin pills. This essay will explain the reasons that people spend money on vitamin supplements and discuss how people can be convinced to improve their diet rather than buying vitamin pills.

To begin with, people purchase vitamin tablets because they are often misled by fitness influencers. In other words, social media platforms are easily accessible to everyone, which are used by fitness models to promote these products such as vitamin medicines. As a result, people buy these pills from social media sites which makes profit for influencers. For example, many advertisements are posted on Instagram which influence individuals to purchase these vitamin capsules.

Furthermore, governments can organize medical information camps, which will provide knowledge that a healthy diet is sufficient to provide all essential vitamins and minerals. To elaborate on this, organizations can aware people about money making techniques of social media influencers. Therefore, people will be inform that vitamin pills only benefit the influencers in terms of money and all the nutrients can be fullfilled by a good diet. For instance, in 2023, the city council of Batala organized an information camp regarding the fitness industry which enhanced the awareness of local people.

In conclusion, people spend money on vitamin pills because they are ill-advised by influencers and people can be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying pills by organizing camps

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring both why people spend money on vitamin pills and how they could be persuaded to improve their diet. The student presents a clear position throughout the essay. Ideas are extended with reasons and examples, such as the mention of fitness influencers on Instagram and the initiative by the city council of Batala in 2023. However, some arguments lack deeper elaboration. For example, the first body paragraph briefly mentions social media influence without fully exploring other potential psychological reasons people buy supplements, such as perceived convenience or health anxiety. Nevertheless, all requirements of the task are met satisfactorily, corresponding to a Band 6.5 or solid Band 7 performance where all parts are appropriately addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is coherently structured with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas: reasons for buying pills versus solutions for persuasion. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader, such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are sometimes slightly mechanical. For instance, the phrase 'To elaborate on this' is followed by a sentence containing awkward phrasing ('organizations can aware people'), which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the final conclusion sentence abruptly ends without a full stop, though paragraph structure and overall logical progression remain clear enough to warrant a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'vitamin supplements', 'fitness influencers', and 'information camps'. There are several attempts to use less common vocabulary, though this is sometimes accompanied by word-choice and collocation errors. For instance, the writer uses 'vitamin medicines' instead of 'vitamin supplements', and 'organizations can aware people' instead of 'raise awareness among people' or 'inform people'. Furthermore, the phrase 'money making techniques' contains a minor hyphenation oversight, and 'fullfilled' is misspelled. Because these errors do not impede communication and a functional lexical range is demonstrated, a Band 6.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses ('which are used by fitness models', 'which will provide knowledge') and conditional ideas. While there are a number of error-free sentences, several grammatical inaccuracies persist. For example, 'people will be inform' contains a tense and form error (should be 'informed'), and 'all the nutrients can be fullfilled by a good diet' exhibits a spelling error alongside a questionable collocation ('fulfilled' rather than 'supplied' or 'met'). Punctuation slips are also present, such as a missing full stop at the very end of the essay. These errors occasionally cause slight awkwardness, but the meaning remains clear, fitting the Band 6.0 descriptor profile.

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