Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

For more than a decade, doctors have been advertising that all the necessary vitamins can simply be sourced from a balanced diet. Although this being true, there is still a huge demand for vitamin pills in the market.

The primary reason for people opting for such pills is convenience. These products are readily available in almost all grocery stores across Canada. Another factor influencing people's decisions is price. These pills are generally inexpensive, making them an attractive purchase. Moreover, these medicines often have a higher shelf-live as compared to their healthier counterparts. For example, organic oranges can be inedible within a week while vitamin-C capsules can last for a year. Additionally, companies selling these products have a high budget for sponsorships. For example, a "Pill-X" commercial staring Tom Holland was displayed during the superball with over a billion viewers watching it live.

On the other hand, there are numerous ways to influence people towards healthier options. First step is to share healthy recipes online. As the saying goes, "social media is the biggest stage to reach large audience", these recipes can be viewed and shared by millions. In the meantime, we should also make it trendy to consume healthy meals. The actress Amy Franken, for instance, received worldwide popularity for her homemade green-juice. Her recipe was tried by over five-million people.

To conclude, availability and cost are some of the main reasons influencing people to chose processed vitamins over healthy food. In my opinion, we should use the power of social media to attract more individuals towards following a healthy diet.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by explaining why people spend money on vitamin pills, such as convenience, price, and marketing, and suggests solutions like social media campaigns and making healthy eating trendy. Your position is clear throughout the essay. However, some arguments contain minor contradictions or illogical points, such as stating that pills are inexpensive compared to food while focusing heavily on marketing budgets. Additionally, the second reason listed in the body paragraph actually shifts into price and shelf-life rather than maintaining a distinct new point. Ideas are supported with examples, such as the commercial featuring Tom Holland and the actress Amy Franken, though these could be developed with slightly more depth to reach higher band levels. Overall, the task is adequately fulfilled, meeting the criteria for a Band 6.5, which rounds to a 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction to body paragraphs and the conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct sections for the reasons behind buying pills and the persuasive solutions. Cohesive devices are generally used effectively, employing markers such as 'First step', 'In the meantime', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader through the text. However, referencing and cohesive links are sometimes slightly mechanical, and the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the paragraph detailing reasons for pill consumption blends convenience, price, shelf-life, and advertising rather than separating them into distinct, well-sequenced sentences. Overall, the organizational structure is clear and earns a Band 6.5, reflecting competent progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'counterparts', 'inedible', and 'sponsorships'. However, there are noticeable lexical and collocational inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, doctors have been 'advertising' should be 'advising', 'higher shelf-live' contains a spelling error for 'shelf-life', and 'superball' should be 'Super Bowl'. Furthermore, 'chose processed vitamins' contains a spelling error ('choose'). Despite these vocabulary and spelling slips, the meaning remains clear throughout the response, and the range is sufficient to meet the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures and participial phrases such as 'For more than a decade, doctors have been advising...' and 'As the saying goes...'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings present in the text. For instance, the phrase 'Although this being true' is grammatically incorrect and should be 'Although this is true'. Additionally, punctuation and preposition choices occasionally falter, such as 'reach large audience' lacking an article ('a large audience'). The errors do not impede communication, and there are many error-free sentences, demonstrating a solid Band 6.0 level of grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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