Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays,  In many countries individuals prefer to buy bunch of attire everytime. In this eassy I will discuss some causes of this development and few demerit points about this situation, which can make people to think about this situation and give them a sense of realization what they are doing.

The primary reason for this development is celebrating many festivals in a year. In simple word, in many parts of the world so many festivities are celebrated, therefore people want to wear new fabric everytime as they want to look good. For example, in India festivals like Ganesh chaturthi, Janmasatmi, Diwali, Navratri and so many are celebrated in a whole year, so in every occasion people prefer to buy new clothes. Secondly, there are so many time they buy a new clothes just for happiness. In other words, during some special events like birthday, anniversary, get together, farewell and manymore.

It is very important for the people to realize some drawbacks of this development. Firstly, it directly affects the environment. To simplify, for producing clothes, there are needs for many natural and chemical materials. To illustrate, for producing basic fabric there are emission of huge amount of carbon dioxide which affects the climate very much. Moreover, there is also a need of big amount of water, so basically it also reduce the quantity of pure water in the whole world.

In conclusion, people tend to buy a new clothes for enjoying festivals and some special occasions. However, the impact of clothe production to the climate by increasing green house gases and reducing pure water are the points to convince individuals to take care of environment by reduce the number of cloths they buy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.0

The candidate has completely misunderstood the prompt, writing an essay about buying clothes and fashion trends instead of the actual topic regarding vitamin pills and a healthy diet. According to the official descriptors, if a response is completely off-topic, Task Achievement must be severely penalised, as none of the prompt requirements (vitamin pills, diet, reasons, persuasion) are addressed. Although the student attempts to structure an essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the complete irrelevance of the content to the input prompt means the task response falls well below the standard for a passing score. Consequently, this criterion warrants a band 2.0 due to the total mismatch between the question asked and the content generated.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Despite the severe content irrelevance, the candidate demonstrates some basic structural awareness by organising the response into identifiable paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transitional markers such as 'The primary reason', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are employed to link ideas together. However, paragraphing is somewhat basic, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the sudden shift into environmental impacts without a clear conceptual bridge. There is also a distinct lack of cohesion in the introduction, where the opening sentence awkwardly connects 'individuals prefer to buy bunch of attire'. While the logical progression is hindered by the disjointed topic, the structural attempts align with a band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary range used in the response is quite limited and heavily repetitive. The candidate relies on basic terms such as 'festivals', 'clothes', 'environment', and 'water'. There are also frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations, such as 'buy bunch of attire everytime', 'fabric everytime', and 'big amount of water' instead of 'large amount of water'. Spelling and word-form errors are notable throughout the text, including 'eassy' instead of 'essay', 'demerit points', and 'clothe production'. These errors reflect a limited lexical repertoire and frequent inaccuracies that cause some difficulty for the reader, placing the writing squarely at band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response features a very limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent errors occurring in both simple and complex sentences. Examples of grammatical inaccuracies include 'there are needs for many natural', 'there are emission of huge amount', 'reduce the quantity', and 'by reduce the number of cloths'. Punctuation is also problematic, marked by stray commas and disjointed clauses, such as 'Nowadays, In many countries...'. The frequency of errors in basic subject-verb agreement and preposition usage means that meaning is occasionally distorted or requires careful interpretation, corresponding to a band 4.0.

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