Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Most health officials advise that the balanced diet can be sufficient for a human body and no need to consume extra supplements. Despie this guidence, many individuals still spending a considerable amount of money on vitamin pills. I think this trend is largely driven by the modern fast-paced lifestyle and aggressive advertisement of supplement companies but it can be minimized with the help of public awareness campaigns and practical education in schools.
To begin with, one of the main culprit behind this trend is that the long working works in people's life, they do not have enough time between professional and personal life. As a result, dietary pills are more convenient and easy to consume because they don't have time to purchase natural ingredients and also it takes significant amount of time to prepare a balanced meal. Similarly, some supplement companies advertising their products as a essential part of diet, which create pressure on people to take supplements even if they are preparing proper meals at homes. This is because, their minds pushing them to take extra precautions.
Nevertheless, governments and hospitals could run some awareness campaigns to teach the importance of balanced diet, if doctors and officials aware the benefits of natural food, not only can people save a considerable amount of finance but also it can be beneficial to their long-term health. Addition to it, educational institutes should teach their children about how to calculate the diet requirements of human body on daily basis, with this information, they can manage their family and their own health without any unnatural supplement.
In conclusion, the hectic lifestyle and explosive advertisements are the two main culprits behind this trend. However, I think this problem can be resloved with health awareness messages and practical education in schools.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying reasons why people spend money on vitamin pills (modern fast-paced lifestyle, aggressive advertising) and suggesting solutions (public awareness campaigns, practical education in schools). The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are extended and supported with relevant explanations. For example, the student explains how long working hours prevent people from preparing balanced meals, making dietary pills a convenient alternative. While the development is generally clear, some arguments could be explored in slightly greater depth to reach a higher band. Overall, the response fulfills the requirements of the task effectively, aligning well with the Band 7 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are structured into an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing the prompt's two questions, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader, such as 'To begin with', 'Nevertheless', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'. However, there are minor issues with cohesion and referencing in places, such as the slightly clunky transition 'Addition to it' instead of 'In addition to this', and occasional run-on sentence structures that affect the smoothness of the progression. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the overall arrangement is coherent, which fits the Band 6.5 to 7.0 profile well.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'fast-paced lifestyle', 'aggressive advertisement', 'convenient', and 'long-term health'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'Despie' instead of 'Despite', 'guidence' instead of 'guidance', 'spending' instead of 'spend', 'culprit' instead of 'culprits', 'works' instead of 'hours', 'essential' used with 'a', 'resloved' instead of 'resolved', and 'finance' instead of 'money' or 'finances'. These lexical errors and awkward collocations occur regularly but do not impede communication, placing the response firmly at Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambition with conditional and multi-clause structures, as seen in 'if doctors and officials aware the benefits of natural food, not only can people save a considerable amount of finance but also it can be beneficial...'. However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation flaws, including fragments and comma splices, such as '...people's life, they do not have enough time...' and '...part of diet, which create pressure...'. The verb forms and word classes are occasionally misused, such as 'aware' instead of 'make aware' or 'aware of'. These errors occur frequently but rarely impede overall communication, supporting a Band 6.0 score.
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