Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, people are busy with buidling their life. As market is really competitive and challenging, now a days struggles starts at a very younge age. The competition starts from schools onwards, from fighting to get good grades in the school exams to struggling to get a high end jobs, this has became a continous process now.

One of the major drawbacks of this is that people have comproised with the health as it has become really hard to mantaine a good healthy diet.

There is an old popular saying that 'A healthy mind live in a healthy body'. Increased competition is not only the sole reason for change in people's diet. There are other factos as well which lead to this situation. In last few years, peoples eating habits and preference have changed drastically. People tends to enjoy more of customized and unhealthy foods famously known as fast food. Now one of the biggest drawback of this food choice is that, it is really good for the taste but not for the heath. We have clinical proved evidence, that continous consuption of packed food or fast food lead to severe uncurable health diseases.

Futhermore, the obivous reason why this food choice is unhealthy because they lack nutricians for instance vitamins.

Despite continous warnings from doctors and other medical professional that in order to get all the vitamins an individual need to have a proper healthy diet, people end up consuming unhealthy food items.

The only benefited stakeholders of this tend is supppliments companies. As per data, there is a drastic increase in the sale of suppliments. As a large population have now started consuming suppliments in order to overcome the vitamin deficiency, despite of following doctor's advise.

As we have already discussed few reasons above about why population is tend to consume viatmins pills instead of maintaining health diet. Similar to this, there are other reasons as well which force people to consume more of vitamins pills. Firstly, use of fertilizers. These days farmers are forced to use dangerous chemical on fields for a better crops. The continous use of fertilizers have destroyed the fertility of soils. There for this lead to low level of vitamins in the food.

Secondly, new generation enjoy more outside food rather than cooking their own meal. This doesn't directly proves that that this result in increase in the consumption of pills, but it is proven and well said fact that, restaurants keeps suppliers and raw materials in a cold storage for months. Hence, again lead to damaging peoples health.

Moreover, there are number of ways by which we can pesuade population to improve their health and consume less vitamins pills. Educating and creating awareness is coudld be the one of the significant way of doing this. Government food regulatory bodies should make sure that, restaurants and othe food servering places should obey all the dietary norms and avoid using spolied items. Similarly, government should restrict the use of deadly fertilizers.

In conclusion, an individual is majorly responsible for maintaining a healthy diet. All the above suggested improvements are of no use if a person still chooses unhealthy food instead of focusing on a healthy eating habit.

Nevertheless, government should also make sure on their level that they are taking all the necessary steps to make sure food and its components are healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: why people spend money on vitamin pills and how they could be persuaded to improve their diet. The student presents several relevant ideas, such as busy lifestyles, fast food consumption, and soil fertility degradation leading to vitamin deficiencies. However, some ideas are repetitive and wander slightly off-topic, particularly the lengthy discussion on agricultural fertilizers and restaurant storage practices, which distracts from the core question about diet versus vitamin pills. The position is generally clear, though the development is sometimes superficial and lacks specific real-world examples, relying instead on broad generalizations. While the prompt is adequately covered, the lack of tight focus and concise development places it at Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a clear overarching structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, establishing a coherent overall arrangement. Paragraphing is utilized, though some paragraphs are overly long and contain multiple shifting ideas, such as the mixed discussion on food habits, soil, and supplements. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes mechanical or inaccurate, as seen with transitions like 'Futhermore', 'Similar to this', and 'Moreover'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical progression within paragraphs is disrupted by abrupt shifts in topic. While the text is readable, the mechanical cohesion and wandering paragraph focus prevent it from reaching a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'stakeholders', 'deficiency', 'regulatory bodies', and 'fertility'. However, there are numerous lexical and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'buidling', 'younge', 'comproised', 'mantaine', 'factos', 'proves' (instead of proven), 'consuption', 'nutricians', 'suppliments', 'tend' (instead of trend), 'supppliments', 'pesuade', and 'spolied'. These errors highlight an inconsistency in word formation and spelling, although they rarely impede overall communication. The vocabulary is generally functional rather than sophisticated, matching the descriptors for Band 5.5 or 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as 'Despite continuous warnings from doctors... people end up consuming...' and 'Educating and creating awareness could be one of the significant ways...'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'peoples eating habits and preference have changed', 'People tends to enjoy', 'A healthy mind live in a healthy body'), article usage, and prepositional phrases (e.g., 'maintaining health diet', 'on their level'). Additionally, run-on sentences and punctuation issues occur throughout. Because errors are frequent and often cause noticeable strain for the reader, a Band 5.0 is appropriate.

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