Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Medical practioners advice to eat a healthy diet that it gives all the nutrients and vitamins we need but people still spend a lot of money on vitamin pills .
Most people have tight work schedules and as such they sometimes skip breakfast which is the most important meal of the day.They eat lunch but then eat junks for dinner again just to get by and the routine continues, such people are always up and about and feel they can just order something on the road not minding if its a balnced diet or not. As such they buy expensive vitamins because they know that gives them the nutrients they need to get going and some of this pills has components in it which gives them a relaxing mind or helps them sleep well after a long day at work hence why they spend such money.
Pregnant women also spend a lot on vitamin pills because it is believed to help the baby's growth and the overalll wellbeing of the mother. Asides eating a lot of fruits and good healthy meals,they are often adviced to get vitamin pills for good nutrient which is not only great for their own health and wellbeing but also the baby.
Total dependence on vitamin pills for necessary nutrients which healthy meal diet can give can becomes excessive that people no longer care about what goes in their body system hence they become addicted to the pills.Health talks should be organised where medical practitioners talks about the benefits of a healthy diet as well as the effect of vitamin pills on the long run. Also educate people on the meals that gives them nutrients and necessary body vitamins and simpilifying it for them so they do not feel it is too much task.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response successfully addresses both parts of the prompt, exploring reasons why people spend money on vitamin pills (such as busy work schedules, skipping meals, and specific health needs like pregnancy) and suggesting ways people could be persuaded to improve their diet (organising health talks by medical practitioners and educating the public). The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as pregnant women looking after the baby's growth and overall wellbeing. While the development of ideas could be slightly more rigorous in places, all requirements of the task are adequately met, corresponding to a Band 6.5 or solid Band 6 descriptor profile.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing that separates the introduction, body paragraphs focusing on different reasons and solutions, and a concluding thought. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like "As such" are overused, appearing multiple times in close proximity, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in "some of this pills has". Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion requires better variety and flexibility to achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-related terms such as 'nutrients', 'vitamins', 'balanced diet', and 'medical practitioners'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, such as 'practioners', 'junks' (instead of junk food), 'balnced', 'adviced' (used as a verb incorrectly), and 'simpilifying'. Less common vocabulary is attempted, but inaccuracies in spelling and collocation prevent the score from reaching a Band 7. Communication is not seriously impeded, which aligns well with the Band 6 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some attempt at subordination and relative clauses. However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text. Examples include agreement errors such as 'some of this pills has components', spelling and word form issues like 'medical practioners advice' (noun/verb confusion), and run-on sentences that lack appropriate punctuation, such as 'Total dependence on vitamin pills for necessary nutrients which healthy meal diet can give can becomes excessive that people no longer care...'. These errors occasionally cause slight strain for the reader, fitting a Band 5.5 to 6 profile.
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