Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contermporary society, consuming vitamins has emerged as a prominent subject of discussion, the importance of which was always debatable. While the faction of the society contends that they should consume vitamins pills while other vehemently argue that a good and healthy diet can overcome our vitamin deficiency. From my perspective, the balanced diet along with some recommended pills from the doctor can make one's life healthy. This essay will critically analyze both viewpoints alongside the relevant examples to provide the well-reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand, there are compelling arguments suggesting the former notion. The primary catalyst behind this school of thought is that oral medication has numerous benefits. To expand on this a group of people thought that the medication contain pure form of vitamins and are much more effective. A prime illustration of this can be seen in most of the cases doctors says that a large group of people are more concerned about their health and most of them are likely to use medication to fulfil the needs of their body. Consequetly, it is clear that most people like to spend on vitamin pills even though these are quite expensive, which validates that why this perspective commands significant support.

On the other hand, a strong case can be made for opposing stance, which I also endorse. A pivotal aspect to consider is that, people should improve their diet if they want their health to be naturally strong. This is primarily because all natural foods, including fruits, vegetables and meat contains alot of mineral and vitamins required to our body and all of the individual natural grown thing has its own specifications. For instance, recent empirical data indicates that people who follow a balanced diet pattern are more healthy and fit than the others. Therefore, it becomes patently obvious that one should relay mostly on improved diet, highlighting the profound merits of this perspective.

In conclusion, although the discourse surroundings consuming vitamins is highly multifaceted, the long-term benefits associated with a balanced diet, with some oral medication can improve overall health undeniably outweigh the alternative. Moving forward, it is imperative that pupils should maintain a balance in their eatables and medication to overcome the future dieseases related to health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses the main components of the prompt by discussing why some people spend money on vitamin pills and suggesting that a balanced diet is a superior alternative. However, the second part of the prompt—how people could be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying pills—is only superficially touched upon in the conclusion rather than being fully explored with dedicated arguments. The writer establishes a clear position throughout the essay, but the ideas could have been more fully extended and supported with clearer examples. For instance, the discussion on why people buy pills relies on vague statements rather than robust economic or psychological reasoning. Because the second question of the prompt is not fully addressed, the task response sits firmly in Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a generally coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, alongside discernible body paragraphs. However, logical progression is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions, such as 'To expand on this a group of people thought...' and 'Consequetly'. Paragraphing is used, but the internal logical flow within body paragraphs can be disjointed, particularly in the first body paragraph where the ideas regarding doctors and health concerns become slightly tangled. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and cohesive devices are not always deployed with complete flexibility. This matches the characteristics of Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary, including phrases like 'contemporary society', 'prominent subject of discussion', and 'empirical data'. However, there are frequent lexical errors and spelling mistakes throughout the text, such as 'contermporary', 'vitamins pills' (instead of vitamin pills), 'consequetly', 'contain' instead of contains, and 'dieseases'. Furthermore, some collocations are awkward, such as 'relay mostly on improved diet' instead of rely mostly on a better diet. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general meaning, these persistent inaccuracies limit the score to a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambition with structures such as 'While the faction of the society contends that...'. Nevertheless, grammatical errors are frequent. Examples include agreement and tense issues like 'the importance of which was always debatable', 'medication contain', 'doctors says', and 'all of the individual natural grown thing has its own specifications'. Punctuation is also occasionally problematic, and these recurrent errors cause some minor strain for the reader, although they do not entirely impede communication. This performance aligns with the Band 5.5 to 6.0 descriptors, leaning towards a solid 6.0 due to the genuine attempts at complex structures.

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