Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In contemporary society, a significant number of individuals spend an hefty amount of money on vitamin pills. However, doctors advice that we can have all the essential vitamins from a balanced diet. Moreover, people find it convenient to have multivitamins pills rather than eat healthy. This essay will address both the issues why people spend a lot of money on medication and how to encourage people to focus on their diet instead of buying pills.
A considerable numbe of people believe that they can have all the essential vitamins through medication and for that they pay a large amount of money. One of the main reason is that everyone likes to look attractive and eye catching to get all the praise and for that they started to consume medication. For instance, they want a youthful and fair skin, silky and smooth hair, long nails and so on. Another reason is that the number of commercials on TV and billboards showing the benefits of having vitamin pills. Furthermore, nowadays companies hire social media influencers for the publicity of their product and their followers blindly follow them. They buy the product without even a second thought.
The government should take measures to spread awareness among people about the possible side effects of consuming multivitamins. They should arrange seminars and involve doctors and experts that give awareness about a balance diet and a healthy lifestyle; in addition the harmful impact of medication in the long run. Moreover, simple public service advertisements on a number of different platforms can also do the job.
In my perspective, one can have vitamin pills only when it is essential, however making a habit of having mutlivitamins results in deteriorate of ones health. Because, if a person have pills for longer period the body will habitual of them and cannot function well without them. Furthermore, we should encourage people around us to have a balanced diet and adopt healthy and active lifestyle.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring both why people spend money on vitamin pills and how they might be persuaded to improve their diet instead. The student presents a clear position and supports ideas with relevant points, such as the desire for physical attractiveness driven by commercials and social media influencers. However, some arguments lack deep development and tend to over-generalize slightly. For instance, the explanation of why people consume medication could be extended with more detailed examples. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fulfilling the requirements for Band 6.5 to 7.0, leaning toward a solid Band 6.0 due to some under-developed explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression with logical paragraphing, where each paragraph has a distinct focus: introduction, reasons for buying pills, persuasive measures, and a personal conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to link ideas, such as 'Moreover', 'For instance', and 'Furthermore'. However, referencing and transitions are sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, as seen with 'This essay will address both the issues why people...' and minor disjointedness between sentences. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but the flow could be smoother to reach a higher band. These features place the response firmly in Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'contemporary society', 'multivitamins', and 'public service advertisements'. However, there are notable lexical errors and spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'an hefty amount' instead of 'a hefty amount', 'numbe' instead of 'number', and 'result in deteriorate' instead of 'result in the deterioration'. While these errors do not impede communication, they reflect the characteristics of Band 6 where vocabulary choice and control show some inaccuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing lower the accuracy score. Examples include 'doctors advice' (noun/verb confusion), 'they started to consume medication' (tense shift), 'if a person have pills' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'body will habitual of them' (missing verb/adjective form). Punctuation and article usage also show persistent flaws. Because these errors occur frequently and occasionally strain the reader, the grammar performance aligns with Band 5.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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