Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people are spending significant money on consuming vitamin pills. Instead of following an advice from the doctors and cooking a meal at home, people are fulfilling the needs my the vitamin pills. In my view the primary cause of this problem is convenience and the most effective solution is the education.

The most significant reason people are spending money on vitamin pills is convenience. People are relying on vitamin pills because the working hours are extended compare to last decade. This is because people could not cook due to shortness of time. On the other hand, vitamin pills are tiny and filled with rich vitamins. To fullfil the demand of necessary vitamins, people are consuming these pills everyday. For instance, Walmart has noted 60% increase in the sales of vitamin pills compare to 2016. It is therefore clear that the convenience these pills provide is unmatched.

The most effective solution to this problem is spreading awarness in the public. This could be achieved by the government and leading health institutions such as the World Health Organisation to publish dedicated guidelines on safe consumption. For instance, education institutions should publish easy to cook recipes, which are rich in vitamins such as protein, fiber, omega-3 and much more. If government and organisations implement this approach, people will start cooking meals at home, which directly contributes to fewer health problems.

In conclusion, purchasing vitamin pills largely stems from the commitment to longer and exhausting working hours, which invites health related problems in the near future. Governments and individuals should therefore ensure that people should priortise health before anything.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying a reason why people spend money on vitamin pills, namely convenience due to long working hours, and proposing a solution involving education and government guidelines. The position is clear throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant and supported with an example, such as the mention of Walmart sales. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed; for example, the connection between cooking meals at home and fewer health problems is stated rather than fully explored. Overall, the task is answered satisfactorily, aligning well with the expectations of the Band 6 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement and follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing each prompt question, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, relying on repetitive transitions like 'The most significant reason' and 'The most effective solution'. Referencing is generally clear, but some links between sentences could be smoother to enhance the flow of argumentation, placing this response firmly in Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'convenience', 'consumption', 'institutions', and 'guidelines'. There are several word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'spending significant money' instead of 'spending a significant amount of money', 'an advice' instead of 'advice', 'fulfilling the needs my the vitamin pills' instead of 'by the vitamin pills', and 'spreading awarness in the public'. However, these errors do not impede communication, allowing the response to achieve a Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional structures ('If government and organisations implement this approach, people will start cooking...') and relative clauses. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, including missing articles ('following an advice', 'by the government'), incorrect prepositions ('awarness in the public'), and confusion with comparative forms ('compare to last decade' instead of 'compared to'). Punctuation is generally fine, but the grammatical mistakes cause occasional minor distractions, which corresponds to Band 6 performance.

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