Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Medical professionals suggest that by following strict diet one can get all the vital vitamins; however, individuals still spend large amount of money on vitamin pills. There could be many possible reasons like, lack of time to follow diet, no knowledge about food items and increased food preparation time; nevertheless, I believe this can be improved by spreading awarness about diet, by increasing the price of vitamin pills and by providing suggestions on their body needs.

Examining the reasons, The foremost one is insufficient time for diet. Nowadays, it is very common that individuals spend most of their time at workplace and they do not have enough time to follow their diet due to workload. Therefore, they find it easy to take suppliments rather than full diet which has the same effect on body. Furthermore, many lacks knowledge about the food that have these vitamins and find it difficult, so they than choose the easy way. Preparing meals are also a stressful task for many people than simply taking drugs.

There are some possible measures for this situation. Governments and hospitals should spread awareness about food that have enough nutrition values through news and social media. For instance, by suggesting options or alternatives and even providing list of items

for people to include in their diet, by this they can be persuaded toward healthy diets. Moreover, by increasing tax on medical pills government can make people follow their diet.

In conclusion, although there are many possible reasons on people buying more suppliments; however, it can be reduced by taking actions like increasing taxation on pills, spreading awarness and providing good food options.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by explaining why people purchase vitamin pills and suggesting viable ways to encourage healthier diets instead. Your main position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed. For instance, when you mention that individuals lack time due to workload, you do not fully explore how this specifically drives them toward pills rather than other quick meal alternatives. To move to a higher level, you should extend your supporting details further, providing deeper analysis rather than briefly stating each point. The introduction outlines your stance effectively, and the conclusion neatly recaps your main arguments, showing a sound general approach to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct sections tackling the reasons and the solutions respectively. Cohesive devices are employed to connect your thoughts, such as 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', though referencing and transitions can occasionally feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. To reach the next level, try to weave cohesive links more subtly and ensure that referencing words like 'this' consistently point back to a clear, singular antecedent, avoiding any slight ambiguity in how sentences connect to one another.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, successfully conveying your meaning with terms like 'medical professionals', 'workload', and 'taxation'. You attempt some less common lexical items, such as 'nutrition values' and 'alternatives', but there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'suppliments' instead of 'supplements' and 'awarness' instead of 'awareness'. Additionally, phrases like 'taking drugs' are inappropriate in collocated contexts regarding vitamins. To achieve a higher score, you need to use a wider and more precise range of vocabulary with accurate spelling, better collocations, and a stronger awareness of natural academic style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating your ability to construct compound arguments using subordinators like 'although' and 'because'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally disrupt the flow of reading, such as missing articles ('by following strict diet') and agreement issues ('many lacks knowledge', 'Preparing meals are'). To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, focus on careful proofreading to fix basic subject-verb agreement errors and ensure that your more ambitious complex sentence structures are handled accurately without punctuation slips.

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