Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Even though physicians recommend a healthy diet instead of having vitamin pills, most individuals sacrifice their money on vitamin pills. There are few reasons for consuming artificial vitamins such as easyness, encouragement through advertisements. This essay will discuss above reasons with solutions in detail.

First in the list, Busy lifestyle makes people to buy suppliments. The reason for this is, human beings tend to consume artificial suppliments for a better health since that is an easy way to live healthy rather making healthy foods. For instance, one of my freinds, who is lazy to make healthy foods, has a habbit of getting vitamin pills. Furthermore, advertisements and social media encourage people to buy artificial nutritions, while promoting their brand with a higher price. Last but not the least, individuals tend to suppliments since they have fear of vitamin deficiencies. That is why I say thaf busy lifestyle and social media advertisements motivate people to buy vitamin pills.

On the other hand, there are few ways to encourage human beings for a healthy diet. Firstly, It can be a better option, nutrition education om schools. Since humans start to learn about the life from schools, nutrition education is beneficial for their life. Moreover, Doctors and other health professionals are encouraged to do explanatory sessions for the public regarding a healthy diet rather than suppliments. For example, last year group of university students who are in medical faculty conducted an awareness program regarding food calories. That is why I belive giving public education can encourage people for a healthy life without artificial vitamins.

To conclude, Public education, awareness programs by health professionals can encourage people who are addicted to vitamin pills to a healthy life only from a healthy diet.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt by discussing why people spend money on vitamin pills and suggesting how they might be persuaded to improve their diet instead. However, the development of ideas is uneven. While the reasons for consuming vitamin pills—such as a busy lifestyle, advertisements, and fear of deficiencies—are relevant, some points like the fear of deficiencies are asserted rather than fully extended. Similarly, the solutions proposed, such as nutrition education in schools and sessions by health professionals, are outlined but could be supported with deeper elaboration. The position throughout the essay is clear, yet certain arguments remain somewhat general and would benefit from more thorough exploration to fully satisfy higher band requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression of ideas throughout. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, separating the introduction, body paragraphs addressing the two prompt questions, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions between ideas, such as 'First in the list,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand.' However, referencing is occasionally imprecise, and some cohesive devices feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the recurrent use of 'That is why I say/believe' at the end of paragraphs. These characteristics reflect a well-structured response that successfully achieves overall coherence while displaying some minor lapses in smooth referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate ideas about health, diet, and persuasion. The response demonstrates attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'physicians,' 'artificial vitamins,' and 'awareness program,' though these are sometimes accompanied by inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'sacrifice their money' instead of 'spend their money' and 'easyness' instead of 'convenience.' Additionally, there are minor spelling and word form errors like 'suppliments' and 'habbit.' These lexical errors do not impede communication, and the range remains minimally sufficient to convey the intended meaning, aligning with the expected profile for this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating structures such as subordinate clauses ('Even though physicians recommend...') and participial phrases. However, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation, including articles ('nutrition education om schools'), prepositions ('encouraged to do explanatory sessions'), and subject-verb agreement or infinitive patterns ('makes people to buy'). While these errors persist throughout the text, they rarely impede communication, and the meaning of the sentences remains clear. The presence of both correct complex structures and recurring grammatical slips places this response firmly within the expected parameters for grammatical control at this level.

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