Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Now a days we are living in a very modern era. Where everyone is using technology very easily. With the help of this technology we can easily get to know about medicines, its merits and demerits through internet. Therefore, people have started spending extra money on vitamin pills by getting little knowledge from internet by themselves. This essay will include some reasons of this.

Doctors recommend a healthy diet instead of taking more medicines. There are many reasons to support this statement. Firstly, every medicine if taken more than advised can harm a human body now or later. For instance, vitamin C which can be easily taken from citrus fruits like oranges, kiwi, lemon, etc. will give us healthy life without harming our body. Whereas medicines for Vitamin C will have some more salts as well which may or may not suit our body and can bring some extra issues. But, now a days because of the internet mostly people prefer to search on it rather than seeing a doctor. Hence, they have started spending money on vitamin pills.

There are different ways for people to be persuaded to improve their diet instead pf buying vitamin pills. On the first hand, different workshops/seminars in offices, schools. Doctors an let them know about the disadvantages of taking vitamin pills if taken more than advised and if they can easily get from natural resources. On the other hand, websites on the internet should strictly mention the dosage to be asked from the doctor. For example chatGpt, should not have any authority to tell people about the dosage of any medicine without doctor's recusition.

Hence, awareness regarding medicines should be a major concern these days. People should be more inclined towards maintaining a good healthy diet rather than spending extra money on artificial mode of fulfilling their deficinencies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing why people spend money on vitamin pills and suggesting ways to persuade them to improve their diet instead. The main parts of the task are covered, but some ideas remain slightly under-developed or less extended. For example, while the essay mentions that people get internet information that leads them to spend extra money, the explanation could be pushed further regarding the psychological factors behind this trend. Similarly, the second body paragraph offers concrete ideas such as workshops and internet regulations like mentioning dosages, but the supporting examples remain somewhat brief and general. The overall position is clear throughout, and the relevance of the ideas is well maintained, keeping it securely within this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised sufficiently, with distinct paragraphs dedicated to the introduction, the reasons for buying pills, persuasive methods, and the conclusion. However, cohesion sometimes feels a bit mechanical or faulty due to repetitive transition phrases such as 'On the first hand' and 'On the other hand', which slightly detract from natural flow. Referencing is generally clear, though occasional abrupt shifts between sentences mean that the connections between ideas could be smoothed out for a more unified and seamless reading experience.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'deficiencies', 'disadvantages', and 'natural resources'. However, there are noticeable word-choice errors, awkward phrasings, and spelling slips that prevent it from achieving a higher score. Examples include 'Now a days', 'medicines, its merits and demerits', 'recusition' instead of requisition, and 'artificial mode'. While these inaccuracies do not severely impede communication and the reader can easily follow the argument, they reflect limitations in precision, style, and collocation control typical of this performance tier.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as 'which may or may not suit our body'. However, there is a persistence of grammatical errors and punctuation slips throughout the text. Issues include article omission and misuse ('get little knowledge', 'from internet'), preposition errors ('diet instead pf buying'), and awkward sentence fragments or run-on structures in the opening paragraph. Although these errors rarely impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the writing from displaying the sustained control found at higher bands.

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