Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The diet program is better ways if we do with having healty food that consuming and spent much money for vitamin pills

Firstly, in my opinion many people currently to focus dieting is not limited to women but extends to men as well, and also some people have educated about diet program, for example consumtion vegetarian food because healty food mostly coming from any kind vegie and fruits like tomato, spinach, apples, bananas and may more , however consuming less carbohydrate also more helpfull during dieting for example like rice and flour, if you cant controling consuming the carbohydrate the dirt program is become hard. In one hand doing running for dieting program also better to make balance if you already consuming food food, because without exercise everything you eat is not really help you.

In other hand dieting program for people over weight or obesity is more helpfull consuming vitamin pills, in this case they need to consultation from doctor about their program, because many risk if they doing this program without controlling from expert people, moreover they need make daily routine schedule during this program, also reduce consumtion amount without vitamin pills is take many risk. For example usually they eat 5 times a day or more and significantly only eat 2 times a day.

In conclusion, this dieting program is better for healty life even you consuming vegetarian food or doing sport exercise, however many people have different problem or condition for reason why they doing dieting program.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially, which reflects a lower level of task fulfilment. While the writer attempts to answer both parts of the prompt—discussing reasons why people spend money on vitamins and how they might be persuaded to eat better—the ideas remain extremely limited and underdeveloped. For instance, the discussion on why people buy supplements drifts into tangential points about general dieting, vegetarian food like 'tomato, spinach, apples, bananas', and exercise routines such as 'doing running for dieting program'. Similarly, the second body paragraph introduces a confusing argument about overweight individuals needing vitamin pills and medical consultations, but fails to clearly explain persuasion strategies for improving diet. The position throughout the text is difficult to follow, and the arguments lack sufficient elaboration or relevant examples from personal experience, resulting in a minimal response to the core issues raised in the task instructions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged in a clearly coherent manner, and overall progression is difficult to discern. Although the text is divided into paragraphs, the internal structure of each paragraph is weak and lacks logical connections. Cohesive devices are used very mechanically or inappropriately, such as the abrupt transitions 'Firstly, in my opinion', 'In one hand', and 'In other hand', which demonstrate faulty referencing and grammar. Furthermore, sentences frequently run on without proper punctuation or transitional logic, making it hard for the reader to follow the train of thought. For example, sentences like 'for example consumtion vegetarian food because healty food mostly coming from any kind vegie and fruits like tomato, spinach, apples, bananas and may more , however consuming less carbohydrate also more helpfull' string multiple clauses together without clear direction. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas lacks unity and logical sequence throughout the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, showing a limited range that struggles to convey precise meaning. Throughout the essay, there are frequent lexical errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally strain the reader, such as 'healty' instead of healthy, 'consumtion' instead of consumption, 'vegie' instead of vegetables, 'dirt program' instead of diet program, and 'over weight' instead of overweight. The writer attempts to use some less common topics related to health and nutrition, but these attempts are marred by inaccurate collocations and incorrect derivations, such as 'sport exercise' or 'expert people'. While the meaning of some sentences can be pieced together, the restricted vocabulary and numerous spelling slips prevent the writing from achieving a more competent lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple or poorly formed complex sentence structures that contain frequent errors. The text exhibits persistent issues with verb forms, tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and missing articles or prepositions within grammatical patterns. Examples of frequent errors include 'The diet program is better ways if we do with having healty food', 'some people have educated about diet program', and 'if you cant controling consuming the carbohydrate the dirt program is become hard.' Punctuation is largely neglected, with comma splices linking independent clauses inappropriately, as seen in 'without exercise everything you eat is not really help you, moreover they need make daily routine schedule'. These frequent grammatical inaccuracies and structural limitations cause considerable difficulty for the reader and prevent fluent communication.

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