Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Physicians encourage individuals to consume a well nutritious food as a good source of vitamins, however most people don’t take it seriously and prefer to spend a lot of money buying for vitamin pills. In this essay, it will discuss the reasons behind it and how to improve the diet instead of taking different pills for substitute of vitamins and minerals needed in the body.

One main reason why people prefer to spend more money for pills rather than eating nutritious food is people are afraid of gaining weight and change of physical figure. For example, individuals who are very conscious on their body shape, like models and artist, they are very strict on the food they are taking in and they choose to spend large amounts of money to buy those supplements. Additionally, some of them take it by injection for faster absorption without knowing the possible side effects. Another reason is, some people who afford to spend more money for vitamins knowing it could help and give them additional benefits and good health even consuming and eating healthy food. For instance, adults usually take calcium supplements because they know that as they grow older, their bones become weak and fragile.

In my own opinion, people can be persuaded to consume a lot of pills by proper education and explanation of the possible side effects. Doctors should be more responsible on how to convince each clients that eating nutritious food is still more safe rather than taking different types of pills. Government should imply more regulations on releasing different types of supplements or even injections by thoroughly checking for the possible side effects.

To conclude with, people choose to take expensive vitamins rather than eating nutritious food mainly because of being afraid gaining weight and changes in body figure, additionally others take it as a supplements due to aging like adults. However, this should still take some precautions like proper education and explanation on the side effects of taking some pills or supplements. Moreover, health awareness is essential to everyone on each pill they are taking in.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both why people spend money on vitamin pills and how they might be persuaded to improve their diet. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, reflecting a level where the main tasks are covered, but certain arguments remain somewhat general. For instance, the first body paragraph explores the fear of weight gain and cites examples like models and artists, but the second reason regarding adults taking calcium supplements is less elaborated. Similarly, the solution involving government regulations is introduced briefly without deep extension. To reach a higher level, all supporting arguments would need deeper elaboration and more thoroughly integrated examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct sections for reasons and solutions. Cohesive devices are employed to connect sentences and paragraphs, such as 'For example', 'Additionally', and 'To conclude with'. However, some cohesive referencing and transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as starting multiple sentences with 'Another reason is' or 'For instance'. Furthermore, referencing is occasionally imprecise, which prevents the flow from being entirely smooth. To improve further, the writer should integrate a wider variety of advanced cohesive devices and ensure smoother transitions between clauses and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'absorptions', 'supplements', and 'health awareness'. However, there are noticeable word choice, word form, and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text that reveal limitations in lexical control. Examples include 'well nutritious food' instead of 'nutritious food', 'buying for vitamin pills', 'substitute of vitamins', 'more safe' instead of 'safer', and 'Government should imply more regulations' where 'implement' or 'impose' is required. While these minor lexical errors do not seriously impede communication, they prevent the vocabulary from achieving the precision and natural flow expected at higher levels. Expanding control over collocations and word forms will be essential for future progress.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct multi-clause sentences such as 'Physicians encourage individuals to consume a well nutritious food as a good source of vitamins, however most people don’t take it seriously...' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles, preposition issues within grammatical patterns, and awkward phrasing like 'afraid gaining weight' instead of 'afraid of gaining weight' and 'each clients' instead of 'each client'. However, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede overall communication. To move to a higher standard, the writer should focus on greater accuracy in complex sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and prepositional use.

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