Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Health practitioners has been spreading awareness to improve quality of food intake rather than spending money on the supplements. However, people prefer to consume medicines for instant result and convenient way to improve their health. Individuals can influence to work on their eating pattern by supreading awareness about side-effects of vitamin pills.
People spend money on buying supplements to improve their vitamin deficiency because of limited knowledge. Some people have less knowledge to prepare healthy meal. They are unaware how to calculate calories and nutritions in the meal. Thus, they choose the convenient way to improve their vitamins. Moreover, people prefer to select the easy way to find the subsitude to the healthy food. Individuals have hactic schedule and they spend long time on the workplace that left them with shortage of time for cooking. For example, if a person is enrolled in a full-time job and working 6 days in a week. He would like to take supplements rather than cooking healthy meal. Therefore, the easy accessibility of subsitube influence people to consume medicines on high rate.
There are numerous ways to persue people to spend money on preparing healthy food. Influencers could spread awareness to eat healthy. Due to the inhancement of technology, people spend more time on surfing the internet and they prefer to follow their role models. If public is not follwing the doctor's recommendations, influencers would try to promote health on their public profiles. Gradually, people will get awareness about the benefits of the healthy diet. Moreover, Doctors can promote the side-effects of medicines along with the advantages. Every medicine does not work same for everyone, sometimes it causes some issues such as stomach disturbance, dazziness and, discoloration of stool. Eventually, awareness is the key component that would help to shift on healthy food from the vitamin pills.
To conclude, Although medicines provide various benefits, it causes some side-effects. People prefer to spend money on subsitude of healthy food because of limited time and knowledge. People can influenced to eat healthy by promoting benefits of healthy food and negative side of vitamin pills.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring both the reasons why people purchase vitamin pills and methods to persuade them to improve their diet. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The reasons are relevant, such as limited nutritional knowledge and hectic work schedules. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or repetitive; for instance, the explanation of why people choose supplements could be extended with more specific examples rather than brief generalizations. While it covers all requirements sufficiently to meet the expectations of the task, fully extending every supporting point with deeper analysis or concrete societal impacts would elevate the response further. Overall, the content is appropriate and directly answers both task questions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, body paragraphs for reasons and solutions, and a conclusion effectively. Information and ideas are generally logically sequenced. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, with transitional phrases like 'Moreover' and 'Therefore' used repeatedly. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as pronoun ambiguity in sentences like 'He would like to take supplements...' where the antecedent is a hypothetical category of workers. To improve, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices without over-relying on standard formulas, and ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to establish a clearer logical progression throughout.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'deficiency', 'accessibility', and 'discoloration'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation that impede natural expression. Examples include 'supreading awareness' instead of 'spreading', 'subsitude' instead of 'substitute', 'hactic' instead of 'hectic', 'persue' instead of 'persuade', and 'inhancement' instead of 'enhancement'. Furthermore, 'dazziness' is used instead of 'dizziness'. These inaccuracies reveal a limited control over spelling and word forms. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire with precise vocabulary and eliminate basic spelling and collocation mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures, such as 'If public is not follwing the doctor's recommendations, influencers would try to promote health...'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement ('Health practitioners has been spreading', 'Individuals can influence to work'), missing articles ('on workplace'), and preposition usage. Punctuation errors also occur, such as unnecessary commas in 'stomach disturbance, dazziness and, discoloration of stool'. These frequent slips in basic and complex structures indicate a limited control over grammatical accuracy. To achieve a higher score, the writer must exercise greater control over verb forms, articles, and agreement while producing more error-free complex sentences.
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