Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this contemporary era, there has been a significant increase in the consumption of expensive artificial vitamins, despite the fact that a variety of whole foods can provide all the vitamins we need from a healthy diet. This essay will elucidate the causes of this trend and discuss possible solutions in detail over the subsequent paragraphs.

To commence with, there are many healthcare companies that produce promote vitamin pills heavily and citizens are influenced to take these medicines instead of changing their eating habits. To expound, numerous influencers advertise the benefits of nutritional supplements without discussing their potential side effects on social media. Additionally, many people are addicted to junk food; consequently, they prefer to take vitamin supplements to fulfil their nutritional requirements rather than consume healthy meals. To exemplify, many individuals may take vitamin D supplements but avoid spending time outdoors in the morning to obtain it naturally from sunlight. Hence, the above example illustrates why people spend a large sum of money on vitamin supplements.

On the contrary, public health should promote the nutrients benefits from whole foodsa nd the government should make healthy food cheaper. To elaborate further, some people are not aware about the side effects of junk foods as well nutrients fromw hole food, so public health authorities should launch acmpains explaining these information. furthermore, majority of healthy whole foods are a bit expensive comapre to unhealthy ones, therefore the state should implement policies to make it afforadable. For instance, a bag of chocolate is cheaper than a bag of almonds, so citizens are more temped to buy delicious treats rather than nutrientional nuts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt, exploring both why people spend money on vitamin pills and how they might be persuaded to alter their diets. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, reflecting a standard typical of the awarded band. For instance, the first body paragraph provides a relevant explanation regarding social media influencers and a preference for junk food, though the example regarding vitamin D could be extended further. The second body paragraph outlines government policies and awareness campaigns, but ends rather abruptly without fully exploring the second solution in depth. Overall, the content is relevant and covers the core requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and logical paragraphing. Cohesive devices are employed to connect ideas, such as using 'To commence with', 'Additionally', and 'To elaborate further'. However, cohesion is at times a bit mechanical, and referencing is occasionally slightly unclear or abrupt, particularly near the end of the second body paragraph where the transition between sentences feels a little disjointed. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to structure the response, but the final paragraph lacks a concluding sentence to tie the arguments together neatly. These elements demonstrate a solid foundation in organizational structure with clear potential for more flexible referencing at higher levels.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The writer uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common lexical items such as 'nutritional supplements', 'contemporary era', and 'public health authorities'. However, there are some noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that prevent the vocabulary score from being higher. Examples include typographical errors and misspellings such as 'whole foodsa nd', 'acmpains', 'comapre', 'afforadable', and 'temped' instead of 'tempted'. Additionally, phrases like 'nutrients benefits' demonstrate minor collocation inaccuracies. Despite these lapses, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended message clearly without impeding overall communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as subordinate clauses ('despite the fact that...', 'although...'). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('explain these information') and prepositional phrasing or agreement slips ('aware about', 'majority of healthy whole foods are...'). Punctuation and spacing issues also appear occasionally across the text. Importantly, these errors are not frequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the argument without difficulty. To reach a higher band, the writer would need to demonstrate a greater frequency of completely error-free complex sentences and tighter control over articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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