Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Inspite of physicians' recommendation regarding all essential vitamins could be acquired from a balanced nutritious diet, several individuals are inclined to spend lavishly on vitamin tablets. Improper education along with fictional benefits of vitamin tablets on advertisement are the main culprits leading to such an alarming situation;however it could be mitigated by proper education and strigent regulations imposed on adevertisement production. Both, not only the causes, but also the measures to resolve this situation are explanied in the ensuing paragraphs.
Discussing about the factors arising such condition where people contributes heavy expenses on vitamin pills. Out of all plausible causes, the significant reason is lack of proper education on the diet and mindset regarding their habits. Although, individuals are being taught about balanced diet in educational institutions, in real life situations individuals tend to forget the significance and beneficial outcomes of helathy diet as their psychology is built around habits of eating pills providing all vitamins adequately because of fictional and overwhelming benefits shown in advertisements by vitamin tablet manufacturing companies. This makes public more vulnerable to build such habit without knowing relaince on tablets for vitamins is actually are detrimental for their body especially for their liver. A meta-anaylsis of Stanford University, California conducted on various communites globally showed that more than 90% of subjects have mentality that vitamin pills outweigh the healthy diet due to poorly mentioned impacts of healthy diet and overshown healthy outcomes of vitamin pills.
Examining the possible soultions that could divert people towrds halthy diet. Implanting the education on fruitful results and potential of helathy diet would be the most effective measure to tackle this situation. The knowledge on how to form a healthy and balanced diet that can provide essentianal amino acids and minerals should be spreded on news articles, central bodies official websites, public places with banners,educational insitutions textbooks and advertisements by goverments. In addition, strict laws should be legislated by governing authorities to only include lab tested and scientific backed results on the advertisement that can curtail manufacturig companies from showing made up benefits of vitamin pills. Theere should also be governmental body assesing the tablet effects and the advertisement to ensure only accurate information is delivered.
To recapitulate, it has been observed that few people are spending heavily on vitamin pills; although, health care professionals advise to have helthy diet instead. The root causes are made up benefits and poor knowledge on healthy diet which can be resolved by spreading awareness on pros of healthy food and stricter policies on advertisement content.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
You address both questions and maintain a clear overall position: people are influenced by limited understanding of healthy eating and persuasive advertising, while education and regulation are proposed as remedies. The explanation of advertising is extended through the claim that companies present vitamin pills as highly beneficial, and your solutions include several practical channels for public information as well as rules requiring evidence-based claims. The example of a Stanford meta-analysis also supports your discussion, although its specific findings are asserted rather than explained or contextualised. To strengthen the response further, develop the reasons people spend large sums more fully—for instance, explain why convenience, health anxieties, or trust in supplements can outweigh dietary advice. Some claims about harm to the liver are also broad and would benefit from qualification or support.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction identifies causes and solutions, the two body paragraphs treat these in turn, and the conclusion restates the main points. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposting such as “In addition” helps readers follow the proposed measures. However, some transitions feel formulaic or awkward, including “Discussing about the factors” and “Examining the possible solutions,” which do not form natural topic sentences. The long sentence beginning “Although, individuals are being taught…” also carries several linked ideas, making the relationship between education, habits, and advertising harder to follow. Use direct topic sentences and clearer links between cause and consequence; ensure references such as “This” point unmistakably to the preceding idea.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You show an adequate range and attempt less common vocabulary, including “mitigated,” “detrimental,” “legislated,” and “governing authorities.” These choices help convey an appropriately formal tone, and the main message remains understandable. However, some ambitious expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “fictional benefits,” “overshown healthy outcomes,” and “implanting the education.” There are also spelling errors, including “strigent,” “adevertisement,” and “explanied,” alongside inconsistent forms such as “helathy” and “soultions.” These errors reduce precision and make the writing less fluent, even when the intended meaning can be inferred. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations and proofread carefully; a smaller number of well-controlled formal expressions will be more effective than forced complexity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of complex and simple structures, including a concessive clause beginning “Although” and a relative clause in “a healthy and balanced diet that can provide…”. This shows some range, but grammatical control is uneven, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to process. For example, “individuals tend to forget… as their psychology is built around habits” has an unclear construction, while “reliance on tablets… is actually are detrimental” combines incompatible verb forms. The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure after “recommendation.” Review subject–verb agreement, clause construction, and sentence boundaries, and avoid placing several claims in one sentence. More accurate complex sentences would make your reasoning easier to follow.
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