Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, nutrients deficiencies have been escalating among people at unprecented rate due to an unhealthy diet and a sadentary lifestyle and. People are following distinct ways to address this severe problem and replenish their nutrients. Some individuals privilege to get vitamins and other nutrients through a healthy diet, whereas others prefer to take vitamin pills to fulfill the necessary requirement.

Commencing with the most salient reason why people tend to spend a huge amount of money on vitamin pills, they have impression that they can't get all the required vitamins through food or healthy diet as most of the food generally don't contain all the vitamins. Consequently, they prefer to buy artficial vitamin pills where one can have all the vitamins at once.

However, this approach is totally hazardous, which can be responsible for making people susceptible to numerous health aliments. These pills are made of several chemicals and salts which can negatively effect our body and organism. Moreover, some studies demonstrate that they can cause renal cancer iff they are taken regularly.

For instance, some doctors even recieved complaints about hairfall, constipation and skin problems due to the use of artificial vitamin pills.

Despite these detrimental effects, some people are still consuming these vitamin pills due to their cost effectiveness. They think that it is better to spend money on vitamin pills to get all vitamins rather than buying organic food.

Doctors should conduct awareness campaigns to make aware people about their disadvantgaes and their detrminal impacts that could effect our body in long term. `

In conclusion, even though, these artficial vitamin pills can provide temporary benefits, they are totally hazardous and not good for health in long run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you suggest that people believe food cannot provide all necessary vitamins and that pills are more cost-effective, then recommend awareness campaigns. These points are relevant, but the response only partially develops the task. The explanation of why people buy supplements is brief, and the claim that pills are cheaper than organic food is not supported with an example or further reasoning. The second question also needs a more practical, developed answer: explain who should run campaigns, what information they should provide, or how access to healthy food could be encouraged. Your position that pills may be harmful is clear, but it takes substantial space without fully answering how people can be persuaded to change their diets.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, paragraphs on reasons and health concerns, a recommendation, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “Consequently,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is not always smooth: the paragraph about the dangers of pills interrupts the explanation of why people buy them, and the cost-effectiveness point appears later without being clearly linked to the earlier reason. Some linking phrases feel mechanical, while the final recommendation is only briefly connected to the preceding discussion. Grouping the reasons together and then developing persuasion strategies in a separate paragraph would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “nutrients,” “replenish,” “susceptible,” “detrimental effects,” and “cost effectiveness.” These choices show an effort to use more precise and formal language. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes distract the reader, such as “unprecented,” “sadentary,” “artficial,” and “detrminal.” Some combinations are also unnatural or imprecise: “nutrients deficiencies” and “health aliments” do not express the intended ideas accurately. Aim for reliable collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, “nutrient deficiencies,” “sedentary lifestyle,” and “health problems” would be clearer. More accurate vocabulary would help your ideas sound convincing and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and attempts at complex structures, including a reason clause beginning “why people tend to spend” and a conditional phrase, “if they are taken regularly.” Meaning is generally understandable, but errors in sentence construction, agreement, and punctuation recur. The opening sentence ends with an unnecessary “and,” and “most of the food generally don’t contain” has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “Doctors should conduct awareness campaigns to make aware people,” the sentence pattern is faulty; use “to make people aware.” The conclusion also has awkward punctuation around “even though.” Practise checking each sentence for a complete structure, correct agreement, and clear clause boundaries.

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