Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Why people buy vitamin instead of getting them in their food.

1. working lifestyle --leading to too much stress and pressure --- less time to cook healthy food or meal by own---solution leaft to eat from outside and which lead loss of vitamin and minerals in the body.

2. Diet preference- Vegieterains mosty faces loss of vitamin B12 and people alregic to lime or citric face lown in vitamin c and people sitting all day inside a covered surronding lead to loss in vitamin D

Easily availavle in market and superstore, also give a chance to escape from the dietry lifestyle.

Solution.

1. Goverment need to influce the people and

In this Contemporary era, maintaing a good and healthy lifestyle is a challening job for every person on this planet. The lifestyle of an ordinary person has changes significantly and became busy and stressfull in the recent decades. Even getting all the necessary vimatins and proties and minerals from all basic diet food, people pefer to visit doctors and have expensive vitamis pills. This essay will be not only elucidate the main reason of rise in purcase of vitamins but also share the effective points of improving healthy diet.

The working lifestlye in today modern time is very hard and stressful. The individuals are more focused on getting better job, education and lifestyle, whereas they should be more concerned about their health and the curent dietry lifestyle. Because of running for materialist dreams the ordinary person scarifice their health and faces many consequence in form health issues such as loss in vitamins in body, high blood pressure or sugar. This the reason they have to paying etxra for doctor and medicines. For examples, In America, aroungd 57% of people are suffering from vitamin defficiencies and even more the newly born are also facing the issue because their parent genes. Additonally, diet also plays an vital roe in loss of vitamins. for instance, Vegietriain people due not having meat and egg they faces issue of loss in viatmin B12. Futhermore, people working in covered are for entire day faces defficiency of vitamin D in their body. These scarity of vitamins lead in human body leads them buy more vitamin pills from supermarket or medical store,

Shifting to the other notion, government plays an vitals roles in bringing awareness of improvised lifestyle among the society. They can bring the rule of limitng number of working hours for the companies which lead to the employees to have some to do excericse and cook their own healthy food and focus on thier diet. Adding to this restauarnts and also can promote to invlove high vitamin food in their menus and reciepe while make the food

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and give relevant reasons, especially time pressure, busy working lives, and possible vitamin deficiencies among vegetarians or people who spend little time outdoors. The examples help explain why pills may seem convenient. However, the response develops the first question more fully than the second: the suggestions about limiting working hours and encouraging restaurants to offer nutritious food are introduced but not explained in enough detail. The opening notes also mention allergies and vitamin C, but this point is not clearly integrated into the essay. Your position is generally understandable, though the introduction promises effective ways to improve diet that the conclusion does not complete. Develop each proposed measure and explain how it would change people’s choices.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an identifiable overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph about reasons, and a paragraph beginning to discuss solutions. Linking phrases such as “Additionally,” “Furthermore,” and “Shifting to the other notion” show an effort to connect ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the response begins with a numbered outline and a separate, unfinished solution note before restarting as an essay. The final paragraph also ends abruptly, and there is no conclusion to bring the argument together. Within the main body, several ideas are crowded into long sentences, while references such as “These scarity” are unclear. Remove the planning notes, use one clear paragraph for each task question, and finish with a concise summary.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “vitamin deficiencies,” “working lifestyle,” “materialist dreams,” and “bring awareness.” This gives you some means of discussing health, work, and public policy. However, the range is limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word combinations, which sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand: examples include “vitamis,” “scarcity of vitamins lead,” and “improvised lifestyle.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “loss of vitamins in body” and “covered area,” where clearer wording would help communicate the intended idea. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases. Prefer precise, familiar terms when you are unsure of a more ambitious expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including explanations with “Because” and examples introduced by “For instance.” However, many sentences contain errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction, and these sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “people … they faces issue” has an agreement problem, while “This the reason they have to paying” has an incomplete verb pattern. The sentence beginning “These scarity of vitamins…” also repeats its subject and does not form a clear grammatical structure. Build accuracy first with shorter sentences, then combine related ideas using correctly formed clauses. Check subject–verb agreement and verb patterns such as “have to pay” before submitting.

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