Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is often argued that spending money on multivitamins is essential beacuse daily dietry intake donot meet the nutrient requirements as vitamin pills do. This essay discuss both views but personally i believe that people should not replace diet completely with vitamins.Although vitamin pills are necessary requirement, it sometimes create toxicity with over doses.
On the one hand, people spending too much money on vitamins pills because they are acessible and convenient. Although healthy diet contains all sort of vitamins, it also takes time to cook and prepare meals thats why people use multivitamins to meet their requirments. For example, working parents have not enough time to cook all time their healthy meals, they prefer frozen foods or multivitamins to maintain their physical health. Therefore, multivitamins are the convenient option to utilise and maintain their well-being.
On the other hand, nowadays our healthy options are not healthy anymore. This is particularly happening beacuse in some countries vegetables and fruits contain harmful pesticides which causes detrimental effects on health. Similarly, due to the usage of large amount of dangerous fertilizers, healthy options deprived of their nutrients which cannot meet people's daily food requirement. Therefore, people started to spend money on multivitamins to meet their nutrient demands.
However, governments should take responsibilty to reduce the fertilizers amount and provide healthy diet. This legal action would improve individuals diet which can ultimately reduce the ratio of buying multivitamins. Moreover, people have to spend some time from busy working schedules to preapre their healthy meals instead of heavily rely on pills.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that people spending large amount of money on dietary pills instead of taking healthy diet is due to lack of healthy option and time constraints. Some people find pills are acessible and convenient alternate to healthy meals. Therefore, governments also take responsibility to provide healthy options to improve individuals wellness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses both questions: it explains spending through convenience and limited time, and suggests government action on fertilisers alongside preparing meals at home. The position is clear in the conclusion, which attributes purchases to time constraints and concerns about food quality. These are relevant ideas, and the working-parent example helps illustrate convenience. However, the discussion of pesticides and fertilisers is asserted rather than supported, and the claim that vitamin pills are “necessary” sits uneasily with the task’s premise that a healthy diet can provide required vitamins. The persuasion strategies are also less developed than the reasons for buying pills. Explain how public information, food standards, or practical cooking support could change behaviour, and develop one example more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two explanatory paragraphs, a paragraph on possible action, and a conclusion. Its ideas generally progress from convenience to concerns about food quality and then to solutions. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “Similarly,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, the first paragraph promises to discuss “both views,” although the essay is not organised around two opposing views, and “On the other hand” introduces another reason for buying pills rather than a contrasting position. Repeated use of “Therefore” makes some links feel mechanical, while references such as “This legal action” are not fully specific. Make paragraph purposes clearer and use more precise links between cause, example, and proposed solution.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The response uses a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “nutrient requirements,” “toxicity,” “pesticides,” “fertilizers,” and “time constraints.” These choices show an attempt to discuss health and food quality beyond basic terms. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision: “healthy options deprived of their nutrients” is awkward, “convenient option to utilise” is unclear, and “ratio of buying multivitamins” is not a natural expression. Spelling errors such as “beacuse,” “dietry,” and “responsibilty” also detract from control. Aim for accurate, natural combinations—for example, “nutrient content may be reduced” and “the proportion of people buying supplements”—and proofread spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses beginning “Although” and “because,” and the main ideas remain understandable. Some sentence patterns are handled effectively, such as the explanation that working parents lack time to prepare meals. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction recur: “This essay discuss,” “it sometimes create toxicity,” and “vegetables and fruits contain … which causes” do not maintain grammatical agreement. The opening sentence also has an unclear structure, and “people have to spend some time from busy working schedules” shows an inaccurate preposition pattern. Review subject–verb agreement and build sentences around a clear subject and verb; careful editing would improve accuracy while preserving the range of structures attempted.
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