Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Doctors often say that people can get all kinds of vitamins we need from having a healthy balance diet. Despite this advice, some people still continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills. This essay will discuss why people prefer taking supplements and how they can be encouraged to eat healthy food instead.
There are several reasons why people spend on these vitamin pills. Firstly, many people have busy lifestyles, and they don't have time to prepare and eat healthy food. As a result, they believe that taking supplements is an easy way to stay healthy. Secondly, advertisements on TV and social media platforms encourage people to buy these products, promising to have better health and energy. For example, some office workers take these supplements to think that this will help them to feel less tired during the day.
There are various ways to encourage people to eat healthy diets rather than taking these pills. First of all, governments and schools give knowledge about the importance of fresh fruits, vegetables, and other nutrient-rich foods. People should understand that a balanced diet is essential for overall health. Secondly, healthy foods should be made more affordable so that everyone can buy them easily. For instance, supermarkets should give discounts on healthy fruits and vegetables to encourage people to choose healthier options. Doctors can also explain to the patients that supplements are not always necessary if one should take a healthy balanced diet.
In conclusion, people often buy these pills because of their busy lifestyles and the influence of advertising. However, public awareness, affordable healthy foods, and doctors' advice can encourage people to improve their eating habits instead.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response addresses both questions and maintains a clear focus: it identifies busy lifestyles and advertising as reasons for buying supplements, then proposes education, lower prices, and doctors’ advice as ways to encourage healthier eating. The examples about office workers and supermarket discounts help make the points relevant. The main ideas are extended sufficiently to support the response, although some claims remain general. For instance, the discussion of advertising says it promises better health and energy but does not explain why people find those claims persuasive or how they influence spending. Developing one or two points with more specific explanation or a concrete example would make the argument more fully supported.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The essay is organised clearly into an introduction, a paragraph explaining reasons, a paragraph offering solutions, and a conclusion. Its progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers understand the structure. The two main body paragraphs also keep their ideas grouped by purpose. However, the linking is somewhat formulaic, with repeated sequencing phrases (“Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “First of all”), and some connections between claims could be made more explicit. For example, the point about busy lifestyles would flow more naturally into the example if the writer explained how supplements seem more convenient than preparing meals. More varied, precise transitions and clearer links between explanation and example would strengthen cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing health, consumer behaviour, and possible solutions. Phrases such as “large sums of money,” “nutrient-rich foods,” “overall health,” and “public awareness” communicate the main ideas clearly. There are also some imprecise or unnatural choices that limit flexibility and collocational control. “Healthy balance diet” is not the natural phrase; use “healthy, balanced diet.” “Give knowledge” would be better expressed as “provide education” or “raise awareness,” while “promising to have better health and energy” is awkward and could be “claiming to improve health and energy levels.” Aim to use a wider range of natural collocations and avoid repeating “healthy” and “people” where more precise alternatives are available.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses of reason and result: “As a result, they believe…” and “so that everyone can buy them easily.” Most sentences are understandable, and errors do not prevent the reader from following the argument. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain. In the opening, “all kinds of vitamins we need” would be more accurately structured as “all the vitamins they need”; “healthy balance diet” also needs the article and adjective form “a healthy, balanced diet.” The sentence “Doctors can also explain to the patients that supplements are not always necessary if one should take…” has an unclear conditional construction. Revise it to “if people eat a healthy, balanced diet.” Greater accuracy in articles, agreement, and clause construction, alongside the existing sentence variety, would improve control.
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