Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Vitamins are essential substances for our body; they help to enhance body recovery, repair muscles, and increase endurance. In this contemporary era, people are getting more fitness-conscious. Especially Generation Z is extremely precise about what they are consuming and its effects on their health. People are purchasing vitamins from stores to fulfil their daily requirements of vitamins. On the other hand, doctors suggest that vitamins should be obtained from natural sources rather than taking them from pills.
As far as I am concerned, people buy vitamin pills because it is easliy accessible and more convenient. For Instance, Costco and Walmart have a wide variety of supplements, and the packaging is also compelling; I personally buy my vitamins from there because it is inexpensive, less hassle, and all the ingredients and doses are vividly mentioned on the lable, these qualities make it time-saving for me. Furthermore, I believe people are more inclined to take the pills because they help to avoid doing research for a particular vitamin; all the essential vitamins can be found in one box, unlike eating a variety of food daily to nourish the body. Sometimes, it also becomes impossible for an individual to get the vitamins from diet or nature due to work schedules; people doing graveyard shifts are often unlikely to consume sunlight because when they reach home, they have to go to sleep. Eventually, they end up taking pills because they are left with no other option. Additionally, getting basic vitamins from diet is a lot of homework, as there are food choices, allergies, and calories which influence customers to buy vitamin pills.
Nevertheless, I firmly consider the statements from medical science, which tends to have public to nourish themselves with all the required vitamins through a healthy diet. It can be achieved if people do research about the vitamins and their benefits. Medical reports can assist them in this. I also believe that if parents take adequate steps during their child's early years and make them habitual of a healthy diet, then numerous vitamin deficiencies will never occur, even though gradual increase in age. Doctors have also posted charts of fruits and vegetables and the vitamins linked to them. Moreover, health camps are held in communities by the local health authorities to make people aware of a healthy lifestyle .
utimaltely, if we are getting all the vitamins from trusting souce despite of its form then it should be consider a healthy habit
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both questions and give a clear view that convenience, availability, and demanding schedules encourage people to buy supplements. The examples of large retailers and night-shift workers make the reasons relevant, while your suggestions—researching vitamins, establishing healthy habits in childhood, and community health camps—respond to the second part. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that one box contains all essential vitamins could be qualified, and the proposed research and charts would benefit from a clearer explanation of how they would change people’s choices. The final sentence also shifts towards saying supplements can be healthy, which weakens the focus on persuading people to improve their diet. Develop and connect these ideas more consistently.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining why people buy pills, and a paragraph offering ways to encourage healthier eating. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Additionally,” and “Nevertheless” help signal relationships between points. However, the second body paragraph moves quickly between research, parenting, charts, and health camps, so the progression is not always clear. Some transitions are mechanical, and the final sentence beginning “ultimaltely” feels detached from the preceding discussion rather than functioning as a conclusion. Group related suggestions and explain how each would persuade people; then finish with a concise summary of your position. Clearer paragraph-level progression and more precise links between ideas would make the organisation easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “fitness-conscious,” “endurance,” “vitamin deficiencies,” and “healthy lifestyle.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common expressions show an effort to be precise. At times, however, word choice or collocation is inaccurate or awkward: “precise about what they are consuming” is not the most natural way to describe careful choices, and “a lot of homework” does not clearly express the effort involved in planning a diet. There are also spelling errors such as “easliy,” “lable,” “utimaltely,” and “souce.” Check spelling and choose more natural collocations, especially in the final paragraph, to make your meaning more precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “if,” and “even though.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some sentences contain grammatical and punctuation problems that make the relationships between ideas less clear. For example, the sentence beginning “I personally buy my vitamins from there” joins several independent ideas with commas, creating a run-on sentence. In “if parents take adequate steps … then numerous vitamin deficiencies will never occur, even though gradual increase in age,” the final clause is incomplete and does not fit the intended meaning. Review sentence boundaries, clause structure, and agreement, and proofread longer sentences by separating them where needed. More consistent control would make your complex ideas easier to read.
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