Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays this has been increasingly common among people to eat vitamins pills because it is covenient and lack of knowledge. However doctor advice to get all the vitamins from healthy diet because it has natural nutrients.This essay will discuss why people choose vitamin pills and how they can be encouraged to improve their diet.

One major reason to people to depend on vitamin pills is because of advertisement company such as centrum and little joy. For example, nowdays tv advertise mostly about vitamin capsules, protien powder, gummies which helps to fulfill daily nutrients. Therefore, it would be convenient option for busy parents due to lack of knowledge that what does it cause when they adapt that option. Overdosing give them health issues such as heart diseases, kidney stones and fatty liver etc.

There are several way people could be persuaded to improve their diet. Firstly, goverment run campaigns to educate poeple about healthy diet. They need to understand that vitamins intake should be natural from healthy food such as seasonal vegetables, fruits etc instead of pills. Secondly, school should also sponsor nutrient session for parents and students about the benefits of vegetables, fruits and whole grains because it contains rich source of vitamins, minerals, iron such as broccoli, betroot, berries and bananas etc.How to take them and in what quantity and order. As a result, we gradually replace the supplements with helathier diet.

In conclusion, people spend lots of money on supplements because of a convenient which understand through advertisement. However better education and strong campaigns presuaded people to depdend only on heatlhier food instead of pills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both questions and maintains a relevant focus: it identifies advertising, convenience and limited knowledge as reasons for buying supplements, then proposes public campaigns and school-based nutrition sessions. The examples of vegetables and fruit help make the advice concrete. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the link between advertising and busy parents’ choices could be developed by explaining how convenience claims influence purchasing, and the health risks of overdosing are not clearly connected to why people continue buying pills. The suggestions for improving diets are relevant, but explaining how campaigns or school sessions would change everyday choices would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the reasons and solutions, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, however. “Therefore” does not clearly show how the preceding advertising examples lead to the claim about busy parents, while “As a result” introduces an outcome without fully explaining the process. The sentence fragment “How to take them and in what quantity and order” also interrupts the flow. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and integrate related points into complete sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses relevant topic vocabulary, including “vitamin pills,” “supplements,” “healthy diet,” “nutrients,” and “campaigns,” so the reader can understand the main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “kidney stones” and “whole grains.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “covenient,” “protien,” “poeple,” and “helathier.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “advertisement company” and “rich source of vitamins.” Aim for accurate collocations and forms: for example, “advertising companies,” “a convenient option,” and “a rich source of vitamins.” Proofreading spelling and choosing more natural phrases would make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “because it is convenient” and a purpose clause in “to educate people about healthy diet.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation are noticeable. For example, “One major reason to people to depend” has an incorrect grammatical pattern, and “There are several way” needs plural agreement. In “which helps to fulfill daily nutrients,” the relative clause does not agree with the plural items it refers to. The sentence beginning “How to take them” is incomplete, and several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation. Practise complete clauses and check agreement and sentence boundaries.

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