Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In my opinion, suggesting that pills are something esential are the consequences of marketing and lack of an education society in health topics.

At first, I'd recommend to find online courses, even simply in YouTube, and to collect some points and knowledges regarding basic nutrition principles. That's what made me more sophisticated in intuitive eating, rejecting strict rules and adding more vegetables, fruits and protein in my ration. My analysis then became even better, despite that fact I stopped using those pills after the course.

Additionaly, it will give a huge positive impact, for sure, just putting a program by choice in schools about body and the value of food. I never ever had something like when I was a student, but some my friends did. In conversations with them I was amazed how much remarkable, usefull tips they've got during lessons. Mostly, to be honest, I got my beliefs from them, and they never mentioned any pills. They advised me to discover which nutritions you need and to choose products you like which have essential resourses for your organism.

Also, I strongly believe, that the goverment should control this and to show people that as a problem. Pills industry has a lot of money, while in local supermarkets you are not always able to have solid vegetables and meat. For example, with ciggaretes people in the power wordwide decided to insist to put on them horrible picture illustrating the inquires some smokers have.

So, in conclusion, I'm into spreading the right information and not letting the companies to make benefit on people's trust and health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions by discussing why people rely on pills and how education and government action might encourage healthier eating. Your examples about learning nutrition through online courses and school lessons make the suggestions personal and relevant. However, the first question is not answered clearly enough: marketing is mentioned in the opening, but you do not explain in detail why it persuades people to spend heavily, such as convenience, health anxiety, or misleading claims. The proposed school programme and government controls are relevant, but their likely effects are only briefly stated. Develop each main point with a clear explanation and a specific example, and make your position explicit from the beginning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for suggestions, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps distinguish online learning, school education, and government action. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear: the opening refers to marketing, but the next paragraphs focus mainly on education, so the explanation of why people buy pills is left disconnected. Some links are also awkward or unclear, including “Additionaly, it will give a huge positive impact” and “Also, I strongly believe, that the goverment should control this.” Use topic sentences that directly signal each point, and connect examples back to the question. More precise referencing would also clarify what “this” and “them” refer to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “intuitive eating,” “basic nutrition principles,” “essential resources,” and “local supermarkets.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond very basic language. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow: “esential,” “knowledges,” “ration,” “nutritions,” and “inquires” are inaccurate in context. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “lack of an education society in health topics” and “make benefit on people's trust.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, use “lack of public education about health,” “nutrients,” and “profit from people’s trust” to express these ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style example and clauses introduced by “despite” and “while.” However, errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to interpret. For instance, “suggesting that pills are something esential are the consequences” has an unclear subject–verb relationship, while “I'd recommend to find” uses an incorrect verb pattern. In “I strongly believe, that the goverment should control this and to show people,” the punctuation and parallel structure are faulty. There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, as in “some my friends did.” Practise building clear subject–verb sentences and check verb patterns, parallel forms, and punctuation when editing.

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