Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.
Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?
How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Doctors always tell people that they can acquire all the vitamins they need from having a healthy diet. However, some people continue to spend big amount of money on vitamin pills. This essay will examine why many people spend money on vitamin pills and how to persuade people to improve on their diet rather than buying supplements.
There are reasons while people put in so much cash into purchasing supplements. Firstly, it is because of distrust in edible products. Some of the food products sold to the public are not properly produce. During the production, some chemicals are used instead of maturing naturally which reduces it's nutrients potency. This leads the masses into patronizing vitamin pills vendors. Another important reason is insufficiate ingestion of adequate portion of vitamin needed in the body. Many believe that they are unable to consume the amount of vitamin. This result in purchasing supplement to complete it. For example, some younger adults prefer taking different supplement rather than eating balanced diet because of fear of gaining weight.
People could be encouraged to improve their diet instead of investing in vitamin pills by : firstly, the government should invest more into farmers, ensuring that all farm produce are properly cultivated and maturing in due time. They should ensure that the right food is sold to the public. Secondly,dietician should invest more into educating the people on the right food and amount needed for the body. For instance, seminars or lectures should be organised for all ages at all time.
In conclusion, people spend money on vitamin pills because of lack of proper information on what to eat and the amount to be eaten. However, the authorities should teach the public about that.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both questions and maintain a relevant focus. The reasons are identifiable: concern that food is not properly produced and the belief that a normal diet may not provide enough vitamins. You also suggest two ways to encourage dietary improvement—better oversight of farming and public education. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. The claim that chemicals reduce food’s nutritional value needs clearer explanation or support, and the example about younger adults fearing weight gain is not fully connected to why they choose supplements. The proposed seminars are relevant, but you could explain how they would change people’s choices. A more explicit, developed link between each reason, example and solution would make the response more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for reasons and solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Another important reason,” and “For instance” help readers follow the main points, and the central progression is easy to recognise. This already shows effective organisation, but some linking is mechanical and a few connections are unclear. For example, “This leads the masses into patronizing vitamin pills vendors” does not smoothly explain the preceding point, while the example about fear of weight gain needs a clearer link to vitamin-pill purchases. The conclusion also repeats the general issue rather than drawing together the two proposed solutions. Use more precise referencing and vary transitions to strengthen the flow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “vitamin pills,” “balanced diet,” “supplements,” “farm produce,” and “educating the people.” Some attempts at less common language, such as “nutrients potency” and “patronizing,” show ambition, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and make the meaning less precise. “Insufficiate ingestion” is not an appropriate expression, and “put in so much cash into purchasing” is awkward and informal for this essay. There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “produce” where a past participle is needed and “it's” for the possessive form. Aim for natural collocations and accurate forms rather than unusually formal wording; this will make your ideas clearer and more fluent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You use both simple sentences and some more complex forms, including the relative clause “which reduces…” and the conditional-style explanation “because of fear of gaining weight.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas less clear. For example, “some of the food products … are not properly produce” has an incorrect verb form, and “This result in purchasing supplement” has problems with agreement and number. The sentence beginning “People could be encouraged … by” is also awkwardly constructed, with punctuation disrupting the structure. Review subject–verb agreement, articles and plural forms, and build longer sentences around a clear main clause. More accurate control of these patterns would improve readability.
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