Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Healthy diet plays a crucial role in the lifecycle of every person's day to day habits.According to this matter, recently, doctors advise to their patients that we get all the vitamins needed for our body functions are produced by the consuming of healthy foods like vegetables,fruits and good exercise.On the contrary, a fair amount of people believe that it can only be received through spending a lumpsome amount of money for buying vitamin pills. In this essay, I can state that people spend money for taking vitamins are due to their hectic lifestyle as well as obesity rooted in their lifestyle.On the flip side, people are ready to give importance to their health rather than job related matters.

The first and foremost fact is that, In our universe, most people are living in a fast-paced lifestyle.As a consequence, they do not get a time to concentrate on their food habits and reliable time.Likewise,without have an interest, they are forced to eat junk foods and carbonated drinks. As a result, their body forgets to produce its functions to stimulate protein,iron,vitamins,calcium that needed to do the working of body. Therefore, they purchase lumpsome amount of money fore buying vitamins pills for their body function.

On the other hand, consumption of healthy foods in a person's life is one of the greatest blessing for their healthy life.

Overall,from my experience, I can say that following healthy diet like cionsuming of healthy foods and exercise helps a person to get a healthy lifestyle.However, buying pills for spending huge money is not a good way to be healthy. otherwise, it represents that we are depending as well as following on a medical marketing system.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify a plausible reason for buying supplements—busy routines that make healthy eating difficult—and your conclusion favours a healthy diet. However, the response only partially answers the task. The explanation of why people buy pills is present but remains general, and the claim that obesity is a cause is introduced without being explained. More importantly, the second question asks how people could be persuaded to improve their diet, but this is not answered with a practical measure; the paragraph beginning “On the other hand” only states that healthy food is beneficial. The position is also difficult to follow in places, such as the claim that people prioritise health over job-related matters. Develop both answers clearly and support them with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and linking expressions such as “As a consequence,” “Therefore” and “Overall” show awareness of progression. However, the development is uneven: the first body paragraph explains one cause, while the next offers only a brief general statement and does not develop the persuasion question. Some connectors do not express a clear relationship, particularly “On the other hand,” which introduces no contrasting idea. The introduction also contains several ideas that are difficult to connect, and repeated transitions make the writing feel mechanical. Give each body paragraph a clear purpose, order its supporting points logically, and use linking phrases only where their meaning fits.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “fast-paced lifestyle,” “junk foods,” “carbonated drinks” and “medical marketing system.” These choices show an effort to discuss health and consumer behaviour, but several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand. For example, “lumpsome amount of money” is not a natural phrase, and “the body forgets to produce its functions” does not clearly express the intended idea. There are also spelling and word-form problems, such as “cionsuming.” Aim for precise, familiar collocations rather than complicated phrases, and check spelling and word forms. This will make your ideas clearer while retaining an appropriate range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, using clauses introduced by “According to,” “As a consequence” and “that.” However, complex sentences are often not controlled successfully, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to follow. For instance, “doctors advise to their patients that we get all the vitamins needed … are produced” has an unclear subject and faulty verb construction. Other examples include “they do not get a time” and “without have an interest.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: several sentences run directly into the next without a space after a full stop. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and shorter sentences first, then combine ideas with subordinate clauses.

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