Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Experts suggests to eat healthy as it contains most of the vitamins we require to stay healthy. However, few individuals choose to spend lot of money on the supliments available in the market. This essay will show how celebrities infulence people to take these tablets and how doctors and government can play an important role in reducing the consumption of these vitamin pills.

It has been seen that the people with lot of followers on social media are promoting the vitamin pills and recommend public to have it. This is mainly done because these brands pay them a lot of money to showcase it on their profiles. Some companies even choose them to be their brand ambassedor's which is also the reason why these products are expensive. For instance, the company pays a large amount to the person who is promoting it and then include this expense in the cost of the supliment.

There is a greater role for doctors to play in order to stop this unhealthy way of consuming vitamins. They can do so by addressing the impact it may have on the body on an individual. They can also promote the health benefits of a healthy diet. For example, doctors can educate people about the benifits of having an apple for their breakfast and mention how many percent of a vitamin they can consume by having it.

In conclusion, people should take advice from an expert for their health related matters rather than blindly trusting on someone on the internet and must understand that they are getting paid for promoting it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and maintain a relevant focus: the first body paragraph explains that social-media personalities promote supplements for payment, while the second proposes doctors as a source of advice about diet. These are appropriate ideas, and the example about an apple helps illustrate the second point. However, the explanation of why people themselves choose to buy pills is narrow: it focuses mainly on celebrity promotion and does not explore other possible motivations, such as convenience, health worries, or misleading claims. The persuasion strategy is also only partly developed; doctors are discussed, but the introduction promises a role for government that the essay does not explain. Develop a wider range of reasons and make each proposed solution more specific.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two main points, and a conclusion. The progression from promotion by online personalities to doctors’ role is easy to follow, and phrases such as “For instance” and “In conclusion” help signal examples and closure. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, however. The introduction says that “doctors and government” can reduce consumption, but the body develops only the doctors’ role, leaving the promised government point unresolved. In the first body paragraph, the link between paid promotion and the high price is stated, but could be explained more smoothly. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and ensure each point introduced is carried through.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “promoting,” “brand ambassadors,” “consumption,” and “health benefits,” which allows you to discuss advertising and diet. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “addressing the impact” and “showcase it on their profiles.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural word combinations are noticeable, including “supliments,” “infulence,” “ambassedor's,” and “trusting on someone.” Some wording is also repetitive, particularly references to “vitamin pills” and “people.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, such as “recommend these products to the public” and “rely on online personalities.” A broader range of precise terms for motivations and persuasion would also help express the ideas more flexibly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “the person who is promoting it” and a conditional structure in “how many percent of a vitamin they can consume.” The main ideas remain understandable, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur. For example, “Experts suggests” should have a plural verb, and “spend lot of money” needs an article. The opening sentence also has an unclear construction: “Experts suggests to eat healthy as it contains…” does not clearly identify what “it” refers to. In the final sentence, the coordinated verbs after “should” are not parallel. Check subject–verb agreement, article use, and parallel structures, and revise complex sentences to make their relationships clear.

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