Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In moderen days, many youngsters are having different deficiency in their body such as vitamin b 12,D , C , iron deficiency and many more others. Due to this, doctors always tell them to eat healthy diet which has vitamins contains instead of taking vitamins tablets. But these people who has deficiency they likes to spend more money on vitamins pills. Behind this situation, there are many reasons those who are buying vitamins pills. But I will explain in more details to improve diet rather than buying those pills. This essay will be discuss on these topics in ensuing paragraphs with relevant examples.

To commence with, there are various genuine reasons why people are having pills. First and foremost is that majority of the people do not like to eat vegetables, fruits and protein beans which are provides more proteins and vitamins to people. To add more details, nowdays people likes to eat fastfood instead of healthy diet. Therefore, they are thinking about these diet is very boaring for them. Owing to this, they have problems in their body like various vitamins deficiency. As a consequent, people are always think about the easy solutions such as buying a vitamins pills. Additionaly, many pharmacist making a very tasty vitamins tablets because people wants to buy these vitamins which have good favour.

However, ministry of health department have many ways to solve this problem. First of all, they sould to visit the every school where they can spread the awareness to school children regarding the benefits of eating healthy diet. Secondly, every family doctors needs to tell their clients to maintain the healthy habits in their life instaed of prescribe the vitamins tablets. To cite an example, approximately 70% of doctors encourage their patients to take vitamins tablets. Last but no the least, government should impose extra taxes on vitamins tablets and remove the tax on vegetables, fruits and protein contains cereals. Thus, people can buy healthy food than pills.

To conclude, people are spending money on vitamins for different reasons, such as they do not like to homemade or healthy food as well as many pharmacy companies are adding good favour which is attract to people to buy it. Although, health department with higher authorities can mitigate this issues very easily, such as spreading awareness and adding extra taxes on vitamins tablets.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions: you explain that people may dislike vegetables and fruit, prefer fast food, and be attracted by flavoured supplements, then suggest school awareness, advice from family doctors, and tax changes. These are relevant ideas and your position—that improving food choices should replace reliance on pills—is clear. This fits the task well, although some points are less fully explained than others. For example, the claim that pharmacists make tablets tasty is mentioned but not connected clearly to why people spend large sums, and the proposed tax policy would benefit from explaining how it could change purchasing habits. The statistic about doctors encouraging supplements also needs context or support. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation or a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on reasons, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the main stages, and the ideas generally progress logically. This meets the lower-band expectations and shows some features of stronger organisation. However, linking is sometimes mechanical, with repeated formulae such as “To add more details” and “To cite an example,” and some references are unclear—for instance, “these diet” and “this issues” do not point cleanly to a specific idea. The introduction also promises a discussion in “ensuing paragraphs” without stating the main position precisely. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make links between cause, effect, and solution more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “deficiency,” “healthy diet,” “awareness,” “impose extra taxes,” and “mitigate.” There are also attempts to use more specific expressions, such as “protein contains cereals” and “vitamins tablets.” However, the range is limited by repeated wording around pills, vitamins, and healthy food, while several inaccurate word choices or spellings make the writing less natural: “boaring,” “favour,” “homemade,” and “pharmacy companies.” Some phrases are difficult to interpret, particularly “protein beans” and “protein contains cereals.” Aim for precise collocations and check spelling; for example, distinguish “supplements” from “vitamin tablets” and use “flavour” only when discussing taste.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures such as “Owing to this” and “Therefore,” and a relative clause beginning “where they can spread the awareness.” This shows some range, but control is inconsistent, especially in longer sentences. Examples include “people who has deficiency,” “they likes to spend,” and “people are always think,” where agreement or verb forms are incorrect. Articles and sentence patterns also need attention: “eat healthy diet” and “they should to visit” are not correctly formed. These errors sometimes make the reader pause, although the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Practise subject–verb agreement, modal verb patterns (“should visit”), and article use, then proofread each sentence for one clear main clause.

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