Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays many people spend a considrable amount on buying vitamin pills rather than eating healthy diet.This essay will discuss about the reason behind using vitamin pills.

Firstly nowadays people have too much busy schdule they dont have enough time to spend on their selfs soo they prefer to use vtamin pills instead of eating healthy diet. Secondly, due to social medial advertisments and many influencers are using these vitamin pills So people are following them. Consequently many people belive it is healthy. For example, many officer workers use multivitamins because they dont have enough time to make meals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify two relevant reasons for buying vitamin pills: busy schedules and the influence of social media advertising and influencers. The example about office workers also supports the first reason. However, the response addresses only the first question. It does not explain how people could be persuaded to improve their diets, and the reasons given are only briefly developed. The task requires a response of at least 250 words, and this response is substantially shorter, so there is little space to explain or support the ideas. To improve, answer both questions directly, develop each point with explanation or an example, and include practical suggestions such as nutrition education or easier access to healthy meals.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic progression: it introduces the topic, gives two reasons, and adds an example. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Consequently” help show how the points relate. However, the essay stops after the example, so there is no developed conclusion or progression to the question about persuading people to eat better. Some linking is mechanical, and the relationship between social-media influence and the claim that people “belive it is healthy” could be explained more clearly. Organise the response into a fuller introduction, separate body paragraphs for the two task questions, and a conclusion; use linking phrases to show cause and effect without relying mainly on numbered transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “vitamin pills,” “healthy diet,” “advertisements,” “influencers,” and “multivitamins.” These terms make the main ideas understandable. However, the range is narrow and several spelling errors, including “considrable,” “schdule,” “vtamin,” and “advertisments,” reduce accuracy. Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “spend on buying” and “social medial.” Aim to use more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. For example, you could refer to “dietary supplements,” “a balanced diet,” and “promotional content,” while choosing natural collocations such as “spend money on supplements.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and a longer sentence explaining cause and effect, as in “they prefer to use vitamin pills instead of eating healthy diet.” The main message is generally understandable, but errors in sentence structure, articles, agreement, and punctuation are frequent enough to limit clarity and control. For instance, “people have too much busy schdule” needs a grammatical construction such as “people have very busy schedules,” while “on their selfs” is not a correct reflexive form. The opening also runs two sentences together without a space after the full stop. Practise accurate sentence boundaries, articles before singular countable nouns, and complete, correctly punctuated sentences before attempting more complex structures.

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