Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Some doctor recommended the patient having a vitamins. Because some paitent unhealthy black holes around the eyes, hair fall and other disease. Vitamin e so many advantages of hair fall and they are many women use to in beauty palor. They are many types of vitamin like e, b,c. Some doctor recommended ate the fresh fruits uncooked veggies like carrots, mint, corriender and etc..

Some people lot of money spend on vitamin pills because I thick qiucly results in a day.But recommended not spend large amount of vitamin pills they eat the fresh fruits and veggies.

I thik some people lot of money spend vitamin they are many benefit for hair and body. My to people lot of vitamin plants grow own my home because it's so beautiful and greenery and advantage in your life.

Yes some people buy the vitamin and then can improve health because they can more importance of our body.people can make routine add the meals with include vitamin items. They most important of our because they fewer vitamin and than make black whole around the eyes.

In conclusion last year my healthy is so down and than do to to the doctor. Doctor check up and advice please add vitamin your meals in your diet. But I not make a routine in my life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You make some relevant attempts to address both questions: you suggest that people expect quick results from pills and mention adding vitamin-rich foods to meals. The personal account of visiting a doctor also relates to the topic. However, the reasons and proposed ways to persuade people are not clearly explained or supported, and several statements are difficult to interpret, such as “My to people lot of vitamin plants grow own my home.” The response therefore addresses the task only minimally, rather than developing a clear answer to each part. It also contains 219 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 250. To improve, explain one or two reasons in detail and give practical persuasion methods, such as nutrition education or affordable healthy-food advice.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into paragraphs, and “In conclusion” signals a final section. Some ideas also connect to the topic, including the claim that people want “quickly results” and the suggestion to include vitamin-rich foods in meals. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow: the opening moves between symptoms, vitamin E, beauty salons and food without showing how these points relate. The conclusion mainly introduces a personal experience rather than summarising an answer. Linking phrases such as “Because” and “But” do not consistently clarify the relationship between sentences, and references such as “they” are often unclear. Group each paragraph around one task question and use clear links between reason, explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “vitamin pills,” “fresh fruits,” “veggies,” “healthy,” and “routine,” so the reader can identify the general subject. There are also attempts at more specific terms, such as “uncooked veggies” and “beauty palor.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make meaning unclear, including “black holes around the eyes,” “vitamin plants,” and “I thick qiucly results.” Repetition of “vitamin,” “people,” and “body” also limits precision. Build a more accurate set of phrases for nutrition and persuasion, and check spelling. For example, describe dark circles under the eyes rather than “black holes,” and use “nutrient-rich foods” instead of repeatedly saying “vitamin items.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, and the response includes some basic time references, such as “last year” and “I not make a routine.” However, sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed, which makes relationships between ideas hard to understand. For example, “Some doctor recommended the patient having a vitamins” has problems with the verb pattern, article and plural form; “some people lot of money spend” lacks a clear sentence structure; and “Doctor check up and advice” does not maintain appropriate verb forms. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in the long sentence beginning “Yes some people buy the vitamin.” Practise complete subject–verb sentences, past-tense forms for the personal story, and simple complex sentences using “because” and “so.”

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