Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Doctors tell us that we can get all the vitamins we need from having a healthy diet. Despite this advice, some people continue to spend large sums of money on vitamin pills.

Why do you think some people spend a lot of money on vitamin pills?

How could people be persuaded to improve their diet instead of buying vitamin pills?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays,many people tend to buy vitamin pills and consume a lot money rather than to follow the doctors suggest that we also gain those vitamins by having a healthy diet.In this essay I will discuss why some people prefer large amount of money on vitamin capsule.

To begin with,many of us in our society dont give importance on the doctors advice that we should balance our diet to maintain the good quality and natural vitamin in our body.A lot of people are not able to do this because of lack of time by doing some exercises sush as running and walking,they always tired on their whole day of work even if they want to work out,their bodies said not to do so.On that matter they will be forced to take some medecine just to fullfil the gaps caused by not eating proper foods and maintaining a healthy diet.In addition,many of us want to eat deliciuos foods such as those fast foods like Jolibee and Mcdonalds.This restaurants serves both yummy fried chicken and french fries that are not suitable for us to take when we are balancing a good diet.We all know that when we following some diet pattern,most of them has no taste at all and many of them are containing pure vegetbles and fruits,that many people found it boring to eat.Those are some reason why many of us choose to spend money by taking some drugs to be able their health will stay at good condition even if theirs a way of having them for absolutely free by taking some workout and eating healthy foods.

In my opinion,for us to follow doctors advice about natural gaining of healthy diet we should have public seminar that will discuss the pros and cons of having over exposed to unnatural vitamins such as pills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions to some extent: you suggest that people choose pills because they lack time or energy to exercise and prefer fast food, and you propose public seminars as a way to encourage healthier choices. However, the response focuses more on exercise than on why people buy vitamin pills, and the link between being tired and purchasing supplements is not clearly explained. The second part is especially limited: seminars are mentioned, but you do not explain what information or practical support they should provide, nor give a relevant example. Your position is present, but the ideas remain general and under-developed. Explain the causes more directly and develop several realistic ways to make healthy eating appealing and achievable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure, with an opening, a paragraph discussing possible reasons, and a final paragraph offering a solution. Connectors such as “To begin with” and “In addition” help signal the sequence of points. However, the main paragraph contains several ideas in one long block, and the progression from lack of time to exercise, tiredness, taking medicine, and fast food is difficult to follow. The conclusion introduces seminars abruptly and does not develop the proposal. Some linking phrases are repetitive or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. Use separate paragraphs for causes and solutions, and make each paragraph follow a clear point–explanation–example sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “vitamin pills,” “healthy diet,” “fast foods,” and “public seminar,” so the reader can identify the subject. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “pros and cons” and “maintaining a healthy diet.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand, for example “spend a lot money,” “natural vitamin,” and “over exposed to unnatural vitamins.” Spelling errors such as “deliciuos,” “vegetbles,” and “medecine” are noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for causes and solutions, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “because” and “even if,” but complex sentences are often difficult to control. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently, as in “This restaurants serves,” “when we following,” and “many of them are containing.” The opening sentence also combines several ideas without a clear grammatical structure, while the long sentence about exercise and tiredness is hard to follow. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then join related ideas with one subordinate clause at a time. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement and consistent verb forms.

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